Page 38 of In Darkness We Claim

Knowing I can’t even hesitate, I do as I’m told. It’s hard to shuffle into position with my arms tied behind my back, and it’s sure as hell not comfortable, but I do my best.

Once I’m where he wants me, Lawson leans over the table, close enough for only me to hear. “Remember the rules, sweetheart. Don’t resist, or we’re both fucked.”

I offer him a tiny nod, a flicker of my chin that’s barely perceptible in the dim light, as my heart hammers a frantic rhythm against my ribs. Each breath tears from my lungs in ragged gasps, leaving my head swimming in a disorientating haze.

I close my eyes and focus on taking in deep breaths, before letting them out slowly. I try to block out everything around me, but the fact that the room has gone quiet in anticipation of what Lawson is going to do to me does nothing except worsen my anxiety.

After what feels like a few minutes, footsteps approach the table again, and I open my eyes to make sure it’s Lawson. He’s got something with him, but I daren’t move my head enough to see what it is.

When his hand rests on my bare leg, a shiver runs down my spine, and I become still. For just a moment, I wonder if he’s going to break the promise he made to me and take my virginity in front of all these people.

“Breathe,” he whispers, for only me to hear, before sliding his hand up my thigh.

He doesn’t stop until he’s pushed my dress up to my waist, exposing the white lace thong he told me to wear underneath. His silver eyes seem to darken as he takes in the fabric that’s barely covering me.

I wonder if he can see how turned-on the rest of the Gifting Ceremony made me. Even though that’s gone now, thanks to the fear and the nerves, I’m sure there’ll be some reminder that I was dripping wet not too long ago.

As he cups me over the lace fabric, I let out a soft whimper at the feel of someone touching where no one else ever has. I’m sure I hear a low groan coming from Lawson, but he’s quick to cover it.

Without thinking, I lift my hips, rocking into his touch as I desperately seek more from him. But Lawson doesn’t move his hand, or give me more of what I’m looking for. Instead, he lowers the elastic at the top of the thong just a bit, exposing the bare flesh on the top of my mound.

My cheeks flush with embarrassment, and I close my eyes to block out the room full of people who now know I have a bare pussy. It was another of Lawson’s demands, though I didn’t have the confidence to tell him I was already bare before he told me I had to be.

A shiver goes through me as he softly brushes his fingers over my exposed skin, despite him not getting close to touching where I crave him most.

When he does it again, there’s a wetness to his touch, like he’s rubbing some sort of liquid into my skin. My instinct is to sit up and try to look, or to ask Lawson what he’s doing, but neither of those things are allowed, so I just clench my teeth together as my imagination runs wild.

After a couple of minutes, the skin he’s been rubbing feels a little tingly, and Lawson shuffles closer as he clears his throat. With his loud, confident voice, he addresses the room once more.

“As you’ve seen throughout this ceremony, there are many ways for a Prize to prove her loyalty to her Pledge. I could easily fuck her in front of you right now, so you can all see her give her precious virginity to me, but what does that really show? That she’s willing to open her legs for me? I want more than that. I want her to hand over every piece of herself until she’s ruined for all other men.”

With each sentence, my nerves prickle and my anxiety spikes. I thought Lawson wanted to humiliate me in front of all these people, no doubt as a punishment for who my dad is, but this feels like something more. He’s talking about me like I’m an object he’s going to own, that he can do what he wants with until he’s had enough and discards me. The problem is, I think that’s exactly what I’ve volunteered for.

“Harper,” he snaps, getting my attention. When I open my eyes, I find him staring at me, that haunting blank expression still on his face. “Are you happy for me to mark you and ruin you for all other men?”

My heart pounds a frantic rhythm against my ribs, as a whirlwind of a million unanswered questions and thoughts spin wildly in my mind. What does he mean by marking me? How will he ruin me for other men? Does he intend to ruin me permanently?

These thoughts are rushing through so fast, but I know I can’t vocalise any of them. I’ve already been silent for too long…I need to answer now.

“Everything I have, I gift to you.” I repeat the vow I made not too long ago, hoping that will be enough.

The wide smile on Lawson’s face tells me it’s exactly what he wanted to hear. He then picks up a strange black object that looks a little like a large pen, but it’s connected to a wire. When Lawson turns it on, it buzzes loudly.

“Today, to show that you completely belong to me, I’m going to tattoo my name onto your pussy. That way, every man that follows me will know who you belonged to first.”

My eyes grow wide as realisation hits—he’s holding a tattoo gun. He’s going to mark my skin permanently, and it’s something I’ll never be able to get rid of. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might burst out of my chest, which is also flying up and down much quicker than it should be as I struggle to control my breathing.

I want to scream for him to stop, to tell him I don’t want to be marked for the rest of my life. I agreed to be his Prize until we graduate, which is less than a year away. What he’s talking about will last forever.

There’s a scuffle in the audience, and a loud, booming voice stops Lawson before he can start the tattoo. When I hear Ryan, I breathe a sigh of relief, as he’s bought me a few minutes to collect myself.

“What the fuck, Lawson? She’s only going to be your Prize until you graduate, then you’ll go off and marry someone else. You can’t leave her with a fucking mark that will be with her for the rest of her life. No guy is going to fucking want her if she’s got your name on her cunt,” Ryan snaps, vocalising the very thoughts I’m trying to ignore.

Lawson shrugs his shoulders, his expression not faltering in the slightest. “I couldn’t give a shit what the men in her future think. They will know the truth—her cunt belonged to me first. Harper doesn’t have to go through with this. She can walk away right now. I’m not forcing her into anything.”

His sharp and unwavering gaze prickles my skin as the last words leave his lips. The low rumble of his voice resonates in the quiet air, as a sudden certainty washes over me—he’s telling the truth.

Even though it would negatively affect his reputation, he’s willing to let me leave if I choose. But if I stay, this is just the beginning of what he will do to me and my body. If I allow this, I have to be all in.