Page 124 of In Darkness We Claim

My heart stutters as tears fill my eyes, and I deliberately don’t turn around as I don’t want him to see them fall. It hurts me more than I care to admit when he doesn’t stop me from leaving.

As I close the door behind me, a sob catches in my throat, and for the first time since becoming Lawson’s Prize, I actually feel dirty.

With each step that takes me further from Lawson, the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach worsens. How can I go from being sure I’m falling in love with him, to feeling dirty and used in just a few hours?

I push the thoughts aside, hoping that when I come to the party tonight, he’ll be back to the Lawson I love. But what if that’s not the case? What if this is the real Lawson? Either way, I’m not sure my heart can recover from this.

As I sink the needle into Harper’s neck, watching her eyes grow wide with panic, before settling into something that can only be described as betrayal as they flutter closed, a strange sense of finality washes over me. That, and repulsion.

I have been going back and forth all day wondering how I’m going to do this, and every plan I made devolved quickly before I realised I was self-sabotaging because I don’t want them to work. This is the last fucking thing I want to do, but I have no choice.

I intended to let Harper come to the party and go from there, but as soon as I saw her getting ready on her bedroom cameras, I knew I’d get distracted by how fucking phenomenal she looks. My dick wouldn’t be able to resist her…let alone the rest of me.

I decided to treat this like any other Crow assignment. Meaning I have to go all in; switch off my emotions, follow the plan to the letter, and think about nothing except completing the task.

As Harper collapses into my arms, I try not to think of her as my Harper…she’s just another victim.

Closing off my emotions is harder than I thought. With other assignments, I haven’t even had to think about it consciously; it just happens. I have a job to do, and the people involved are simply a roadblock to me completing that task.

But this isn’t just any hurdle; she’s the girl who knocked down the walls around my cold, black heart, showing me I am capable of caring for another person. Now, I have to erect those walls again, making sure she’s firmly on the other side once more.

The silky red dress she’s wearing more accurately resembles lingerie, and it’s testing every bit of my willpower. The smooth fabric falls over her body like a second skin, clinging to her curves in the most delicious way.

With her in my arms, the hem rises enough to confirm she’s not wearing anything underneath, but I suspected as much, given her lack of panty-lines and the way her nipples peak through the thin fabric.

She’s barely wearing any makeup, just some dark liner and mascara to make her blue eyes shine, and a bright-red lipstick that matches her dress, making me think of what her lips would look like wrapped around my cock.

Harper is a fucking wet dream come to life—my wet dream—and it’s about to turn into my worst nightmare. I can’t even be mad at her because I told her to dress like this…like a whore. I wanted her to wear something that would show her off. It’s part of the plan, but that doesn’t mean I have to like it.

I’m not going to like anything about tonight, I think to myself as I carry Harper to my car, focusing only on the plan instead of the gorgeous girl in my arms.

All I can think is that we haven’t had enough time together. Even when we knew we had a year, it didn’t feel like long enough, so having our time cut further is nothing short of brutal. I just have to keep reminding myself I’m doing this for Harper.

I’m almost in a daze as I carry Harper into Crowhurst House, all eyes on me and the unconscious girl in my arms. She won’t be out for long; I only gave her a tiny dose, but hopefully the effects will linger once she’s woken up, taking the edge off things for her.

I considered giving her something to make her feel spaced out, so she’d be here physically, but not mentally. It was very bloody appealing, but I need to make this believable, and having her off her face would be pretty noticeable.

Bram is standing beside the barely used dining-room door, a scowl on his face that I’m quick to ignore. He has been making sure none of the drunk partygoers use the room, as I have it all set up.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Bram asks for about the millionth time as he opens the door for me, following us inside before pulling it closed.

“I have no choice.” It’s the same answer I’ve given him every other time, but the way he shakes his head signals his disapproval.

“There’s no going back from this,” he rather unhelpfully points out as I lay Harper on the large dining room table. Thankfully, this room practically never gets used, and even when it does, it’s more of a study area than where people actually eat. We have the main dining room for that.

“That’s sort of the point,” I snap back, not in the mood to rehash this same argument. “I need Harper to hate me.”

He lets out a harsh, humourless laugh as I gather the rope I had set aside earlier. “Oh, she’ll definitely hate you after this. You don’t have to worry about that.”

My stomach sinks and bile rises in my throat as his words hit me like a punch to the gut. I need Harper to hate me, but that doesn’t mean I’ll be happy about it. The thought makes me sick to my stomach, and I’m glad I didn’t eat anything this evening, or it might make a reappearance about now.

Although this room doesn’t have a specific purpose, the beam running along the ceiling made it the perfect choice for my plan, as I want to use it as a suspension system.

With Bram’s help, since he’s much more into BDSM than I am, we attach a spreader bar to a hook that’s suspended from the beam, making sure it’s capable of taking Harper’s weight. Once it’s set up, we lower it down and get a chair in position beneath it.

Once I have everything ready, I move Harper onto the chair, supporting her head when it flops forward. Although it makes the green-eyed monster in me flare to life at the thought of Bram getting close to Harper’s naked body, I push that aside as I tug the red dress over her head and throw it behind me. I need his help with this, or I risk seriously hurting her.

Luckily for Bram, he moves methodically and professionally, not even looking at my girl as he helps me wrap the rope around her perfect body. We secure it through her armpits and around her chest, pushing her perfect tits out as we pull it tight.