Page 110 of In Darkness We Claim

I let out a sigh as my lips tip into a sad smile. “That’s how I felt.”

“But you don’t feel like that now?”

I shake my head, even though he can’t see me, my lips spreading into a grin when I picture Lawson. “No, I don’t feel like that anymore. I feel alive.”

My skin prickles the way it always does when he’s near, and a quick glance confirms Lawson is leaning against the building on the other side of the courtyard, his eyes fixed on me. I’m not sure how long he’s been there, but he’s too far away to have heard any of our conversation, so I’m not worried.

“I think I need to meet Lawson,” my dad announces, and I grimace at the thought.

It’s not the same as introducing my boyfriend to my dad…that would be much simpler. This is introducing Dad to the man who owns me, who took my virginity and tattooed his name on me, who has ruined me in every way possible. The man who I have feelings for, even though I shouldn’t.

“Okay, Dad. I’ll mention it to him, and we can talk about it next time. Stay safe,” I tell him, hoping he doesn’t notice my lack of commitment. Even if I say yes, I’d still need to get Lawson to agree, and I have no fucking clue what he’d say.

“Will do, buttercup. You stay safe, too. Will you come see me at Christmas?” he asks, and my heart sinks all over again.

Time has been flying by so quickly; I almost forgot we’re only a week away from Christmas. This will be the first one I’ve ever spent without my dad, and tears fill my eyes at the thought of being alone during a holiday I’ve always spent with family.

As the first tear falls down my cheek, I reach up to swipe it away as I bite the inside of my cheek to try to stop more from escaping. “I would love that, Dad.”

I look up as Lawson strides towards me, his face that usual blank mask, but his silver eyes are blazing with anger. My pulse races with each step closer he gets, my breath catching in my throat from the intensity of his gaze.

“I’ll talk to you soon, Dad. Love you.”

“Love you too, buttercup,” he says, his voice thick with emotion, and when I hang up, I’m a mess with the maelstrom of feelings swirling inside me.

Lawson doesn’t stop until he’s standing right in front of me, so close I can feel the warmth from his body as his shadow swamps me. He reaches out and presses his palms against my cheeks, using his thumbs to softly wipe away the tears that are falling freely now.

“Who made you cry? I’ll kill them.” The sheer fucking power in his voice makes my heart skip a beat, and I genuinely believe he would kill for me if I asked him to.

I shake my head as much as I can with him holding my cheeks, forcing me to look at him. “Nobody. I was just talking to my dad.”

“Did you argue again?” he asks.

I narrow my gaze at him, wondering how he knew we argued in the past, as I sure as hell never told him. “How do you know we argue?”

He shrugs his shoulders as if it’s no big deal. “I know you. I can tell when you’ve spoken to him. He makes you feel a lot of conflicting emotions that you don’t understand.”

I let out a sharp laugh. “How the hell do you get all that from just looking at me?”

His lips lift into that cocky smirk of his, and I hate the way my stomach flips for him. “I’m the High Crow for a reason, sweetheart. I’m good at watching and reading people.”

I roll my eyes at his blatant boasting. “You’re so big-headed.”

He chuckles as he lets go of my face and throws an arm over my shoulders, escorting me out of the courtyard that is thankfully empty, since most people are still in class. I’m glad there weren’t any witnesses to my meltdown.

“I have a big head that you can take care of.” He motions towards his dick, making his innuendo more than clear.

I burst out laughing, which puts a genuine smile on Lawson’s face. Fuck, those damn butterflies are back. I hate how safe and happy I feel tucked into his side, and how much I need him.

Now that I know what it’s like to have Lawson Radley give me a genuine smile, nothing else will ever compare. With just one smile, he helped me forget all the bad things my dad mentioned, leaving me here with him, while everything else fades into the background, to be dealt with another time—or preferably, not at all.

As I walk Harper back to Crowhurst House, it’s clear she’s not quite herself. She’s quieter than normal, lost in her own head. It’s the same way she always is after talking to her dad on the phone.

I know what it’s like to have a wanker for a father, but Harper has never seen her dad that way. He’s the only family she has left, and everything she’s ever done has been to make him proud, or to follow his instructions.

But now she’s with me, and has had a taste of what life can be like without those repressing feelings and restrictions, she doesn’t want to go back to how things were—and I don’t fucking blame her.

I’ve absolutely loved watching Harper come out of her shell. She’s finding her voice, but more importantly, she’s listening to the little voice inside herself that’s been silenced for far too long. The voice tells her what she really wants in life, and now she can hear it; it seems to grow louder by the day.