Page 49 of Once I Find You

When I look up, I see Kane’s red truck and happily stand, then skip over and let myself in. “Hi,” I say again, sliding in. He doesn’t look too happy for some reason, and it makes me feel guilty. Is it because of me? I slide closer and kiss his cheek, and I feel relieved when I see that small inkling of a smile form on his face.

“Hi, sweetheart. I didn’t plan on it, but I think it’s better if I take you to and from work from now on. I don’t want you riding the bus anymore.”

“Really? I mean I’m happy but…isn’t that annoying for you? Why would you wanna do that?”

“Because…it’s not safe, and I can. Don’t question me, alright?”

He always sounds mean, but I think I’ve learned him by now. He’s not lovey-dovey, and that’s okay with me. He shows his love by enforcing his rules, telling you how it is, and showing up for you. It feels really, really good to have someone taking care of me like that.

“Okay. I’m just excited to see you every day,” I say with a smile, laying my head on his shoulder as he drives.

“Yeah…Maybe you should stay with me tonight.”

“Yeah? I can?” I ask, almost too loudly.

He rumbles a soft chuckle, and his arm works to move the gear shift. “Yes, you can. I’m not too impressed by the security of that apartment building, either. Shitty part of town, too.”

“Yeah I know, but there are only so many buildings that qualify for my low-income program. This was the best option I could get.”

He clicks his tongue, his jaw clenched as he looks forward at the wet road and drives. “Maybe you should just stay with me.”

I turn, my eyes wide. “What did you say?”

“When Mason finds a place, there’ll be more room. For now, it’ll be tight, but⁠—”

“You want me to move in with you?” I ask eagerly. Relax, Layla, be cool.

“I…Yeah.”

Holyfuckingshit. Is this really my life? How did I get here? What did I do so right? I never in a million years expected to hear these words out of his mouth. Only a week ago he was still telling me to leave him alone. I guess pussy really does change a man?

“Obviously it’ll be complicated—for now you can just stay over, and we’ll grab a bag for you. We’ll figure out the rest later. Okay?”

“Okay! Yes!” Take a breath, you sound way too enthusiastic again! “I mean, cool. That sounds fine.”

“We’ll discuss it more later. Let’s just stop by your place and head back. I promised Mason burgers tonight and he keeps texting me, whining.”

I nod, taking a breath as I take it all in.

I have a boyfriend. A live-in boyfriend.

And I can stop worrying about rent. And I don’t have to buy a bus pass anymore. Maybe I can start saving a little bit every month for my bakery? Maybe…we’ll get serious, too? When do you even decide that kind of thing?

What about…the other thing? Is he doing this because of the small possibility I could get pregnant? I guess I’d feel crappy if I made him feel obligated because of what I said. I probably should’ve just let him take me to get the morning-after pill so he wouldn’t have to worry about it. Damn it, Layla! I should have thought it through more. Of course, he’s feeling obligated to have me move in with him after that. I was hoping he was asking because he liked me a lot…

Oh no.

Now I’m going to think about this all night. How do I manage to always misread everything?

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Carrot Cake

KANE

Fuck, it’s so hard to be dishonest with someone who implicitly trusts every word I say. She looks at me as if I can do no wrong. It hurts me to know that I’m someone who can look her in the eyes and pretend, even when she has that big, beautiful smile on her face.

But if I tell her someone is blackmailing me, she’ll feel guilty. If she realizes someone has been watching her and following her, she’ll panic. Though I want to be angry at her for having put me in this position in the first place; I need to hold back. I know she didn’t purposely expose me to someone. I know she didn’t realize someone was watching her. She’s completely unaware of the lurking dangers of the world and the fucked-up people in it.