Page 23 of Once I Find You

“Yes, but⁠—”

He grabs my arm, not too hard but firm enough that he easily pulls me alongside him as he unlocks the front door and takes me to his truck. He opens the passenger door and motions for me to get in. I hesitate until I see the serious look on his face and begrudgingly get inside.

I put my right arm up and behind me awkwardly to reach for the seatbelt but feel nothing. “Where’s the seatbelt?” I ask as he slides in and closes his own door.

He reaches across me, searching down the side of my seat. His muscular arm rubs against my thighs, and I can feel the butterflies fluttering inside my stomach. It’s rock hard, and almost as big as my wide thigh.

He finally finds it, pulling it up and across my hips, then clicking it for me. I think he also realizes how close we were, and he pulls back awkwardly to put his own seatbelt on. He clears his throat. “It’s uh, been a while since I had a passenger. I keep it tucked.”

The ride is quiet, and I can tell he isn’t used to talking a lot. Fortunately, it’s a bit of a drive from here to Ashford, so I can use this time to try to change his mind.

“So, you must really like cars then,” I ask, trying to make casual conversation.

“Something like that.”

“I like your truck, and the seats are cool.” Instead of two separate seats, the front seat is a bench long enough to fit three people.

“Well, it’s a ‘79 F-150. Not like the shit they make these days.”

I nod, looking down at the seat. Should I…move closer? Would he notice if I just slid a little bit? I bet if it was Crystal, she would have shamelessly undone her seatbelt and scooted all the way to him and put her hand on his thigh. Can I channel her right now?

“If I promise to be more careful, can I come back?” He’s dead silent now, and I feel weird. I need to know what he’s thinking, but he has a poker face I just can’t read.

“What do I have to do to get rid of you, Layla?”

“Have sex with me,” I blurt out quickly.

Holyshit! Did I just say that out loud?

He turns his head, the steering wheel slightly shifting but he quickly corrects it. “Excuse me?”

What do I say now? I should take it back. Wait, why would I take it back? If I said it, that means I felt it, right? Should I double-down? “Uh…yeah. T-that’s what I want.” I try to sound confident, but I’m too shocked that my voice cracks.

“You want me to fuck you?”

God.

Yes.

Please fix me.

“Yep.” Yep? Seriously, Layla?

“That isn’t enough of an answer,” he says, his voice…deeper.

“Um…yes. Please fuck me.” I’m sure my voice comes out quieter than I meant, but this is all moving so fast. Is he seriously going to do it? Am I ready? I think I am, but now I’m worried I’m going to mess something up. This is my last chance to prove how badly I want him.

“Careful what you wish for, sweetheart.”

I feel my stomach sink as we pull onto my block. Am I even breathing normally? How long has it been since I spoke? I’m pulled from my mini-panic when the passenger door opens, and his imposing figure stands there waiting for me to climb out.

As I get out, he quietly follows close behind me as we walk up to my building. “Oh, sorry—the door is kinda broken,” I say over my shoulder. The broken door hangs off one hinge as it easily opens as I grab the handle. His jaw is clenched, but he thankfully doesn’t say anything about it as I walk to the staircase and he follows.

Why is he so quiet? Why isn’t he saying anything?!

We finally make it to the door, and my hand is shaking a little as I try to unlock it. His hand completely covers mine as he helps me turn it, pushing the door open with his other hand.

He closes the door behind him, and I set my keys and purse down on my kitchen counter. Am I really doing this? I’m going to have actual sex for the first time? What if⁠—