Page 14 of Once I Find You

“Okay, talk to you then!”

“Please be safe!”

I hang up and sigh. Ugh. I hate lying to everyone. I feel like a terrible person. Eventually, once everything comes to fruition and has time to settle, I can tell them. I just know that everyone is going to try to talk me out of this, and I have to avoid losing the little bit of confidence I have.

I know I’m crazy. I know I’m being reckless, and maybe I’m a little bit hopeful. But something deep down inside me is saying that this is right. That he is right. And I’m trying really hard to start listening to those feelings and not ignore them.

I refuse to live my life thinking what if constantly. I already spent years being silenced and repressed and now I can do anything I want. Right?

As I finally make it back to my apartment and close my door behind me, I take a deep breath. Okay, Layla. This is it. Tonight is the night. Holyshit. What am I gonna wear to this mission? I panic and rush to my dresser—it isn’t long until the room is covered in clothes I’ve tossed around.

I need to look…mysterious, but approachable. Maybe not as colorful as I usually am and…maybe tighter clothes? Oh! I finally have an excuse to wear those black boots!

“This will do,” I say as I stare at myself in the mirror. I picked something full black and a bit tight but covered. I think it’s sexy enough and…maybe he’ll be impressed that I look like someone who knows how to break into a house?

Crap. How do I break into a house? Will I even have to? Do I just stand outside and wait for him?

I pull out my phone, sending a quick message to my forum group chat.

Me

okay guys. I think I have it figured out. how much do you wanna bet that a man named Peter Reed is found dead tomorrow?

Wendy

Oooh, fun! I’ll bite. You still been trying to track that forreal? Thought you gave up months ago.

Me

yes…duh! and I swear I’m right this time.

My phone dings from one of the girls, but it isn’t in the group chat.

Gabi

hey…so, Peter Reed? How did you come up with that name? You haven’t been sharing your research in the chat lately.

Weird. I wonder why she would privately text me.

me

uh, just a good guess? i’ve been busy. i can show you guys sometime soon.

Gabi

yeah, please. i want to compare. i’ve been taking some too and i think we need to talk

She doesn’t talk much in the chat anymore, but she was one of the girls who used to help me brainstorm when I expressed how badly I wanted to find him. But nowadays, she seems to be too busy for the chat. The chat dings again, and I decide not to reply to her right now.

Wendy

Hm, I’ll wait for you to be awake then. Isn’t it late on your side of the coast? Go to bed!

Me

yep…I am now. night!

I finish grabbing what I need, and head for the door, stopping at my little mirror there as I make sure my hair looks perfect and my lip gloss isn’t messy.