Page 64 of Fang & Fury

He held her gaze. He wasn’t going to apologize. “I thought someone should keep an eye on you.”

“Well, as you can see, I’m perfectly fine,” she replied stiffly.

“No, you’re not.” Her frown deepened, but he continued before she could reply, “She’s messing with you, Ailsa. Surely, you see that?”

“Confusing me isn’t hard at the moment.” She paused then, looking down at her hands that rested on her knees. Her pointed fingernails had grown over the last few days; however, they were nowhere near as long as a bavaan’s. Not yet anyway. “Deep down I thought coming here would prove I’m more Marav than bavaan … but now, I’m beginning to think my mother’s right. I enjoy killing too much and the scent of blood …” Her voice trailed off.

“It’s part of you,” he replied gruffly. “But just like me, you’re going to have to learn to live with it.”

She stiffened, her chin kicking up. “You want me to embrace this?”

“It’s there … and ignoring it won’t make it disappear.” He paused then. “Every time I’ve tried to fight the clag-doo, the bastard just comes back even stronger.”

“I know we both struggle,” she answered, her features tightening. “But our beasts aren’t the same. You were born Marav … the clag-doo is an intruder, something you do battle with, yet the bavaan is who I am.”

“That doesn’t mean you don’t know right from wrong.” Darach swiveled around to face her fully then. “You’re good, Ailsa. Fuck, you’re a better person than me. You didn’t leave Fern by the roadside when I would have.” He paused, choosing his next words with more care. “And I’ve listened to how you talk about the Circines. You don’t have to care what becomes of them … most folk wouldn’t … but you do. You haven’t had it easy. Being shunned, excluded, would have turned some people bitter. Instead, it gave you compassion.” He held her gaze. “I don’t see any bitterness in you, Ailsa. Even now. Even after everything Niall’s done.”

Silence pulsed between them before she whispered, “Why are you saying all this?”

His heart began to race. Suddenly, he felt exposed. When he’d followed her, he hadn’t prepared himself for this. Despite the cool night air, he started to sweat. “If you stay here … I think you’ll lose yourself. I don’t want to see that.”

Ailsa shifted too, so that they now met each other’s eye squarely. She watched him with that penetrating look he’d come to know well. “You’re not responsible for me, Darach,” she said finally, her voice softening.

“I know,” he answered. “But maybe I want to be.” Her eyes widened at that, but he pushed on. “You’re far too hard on yourself. You talk as if you have no control over your bavaan instinct … but you do. That night, moons ago, when we lay together … you had a choice. You could have gone for my throat, but you didn’t. Remember?”

Ailsa stilled, high spots of color blooming on her cheeks.

Aye, she remembered.

20: NO RESTRAINTS

DARACH REMEMBERED TOO.

He’d never forget the feel of her beneath him. The way she’d trusted him despite everything. How she’d gasped his name in the darkness. Heat rolled over him at the memory.

However, a moment later, Ailsa’s gaze shadowed. “That night, I told you to hold my wrists.” She looked down at her hands. “I’m not sure I’d let you restrain me like that again.”

His pulse started to thump in his ears. “No?”

She lifted her chin. “My hunger … it’s stronger now.”

“Maybe, but you understand it better too.”

Their gazes locked for a moment before she replied, “Understanding it and mastering it aren’t the same thing.”

“It’s not like you to give up so easily.” He reached out and placed a hand on her knee before firmly squeezing. “Stop running from this.” She stiffened under the contact, but he pushed on. “Lie with me again … but with no restraints this time.”

She jolted, her lips parting even as her eyes snapped wide. “I’ll kill you,” she breathed.

He shook his head. “I don’t think you will.”

She paled. “Have you lost your mind?”

“Maybe.” He lifted both hands and placed them firmly on her shoulders. “Let’s find out.”

What the fuck are you doing? Common sense yanked at him then, but he shoved it aside.

Ailsa’s dark eyes glinted. Her pupils had dilated. Her chest rose and fell sharply as if she’d been running.