Page 52 of Playing Pretend

“Kadence.”

Her worried tone had me feeling guilty, and combined with Caleb’s rejection it was no surprise that I was unable to discern every emotion that was colliding inside my head.

“How are you?” I asked lamely, knowing that my deflection would be pointless.

Her sigh travelled through the phone, and I could picture her pinching the bridge of her nose in that way she had. The way that said she was disappointed in me, and in this particular case I couldn’t blame her. As much as I hated disappointing her though, I needed her then too, and that always won out.

“Sweetheart.”

Crap.

She was supposed to be mad, but instead she sounded worried. That only added to my guilt.

“I messed up.” My lip quivered, and my eyes burned.

“Well,” she replied, “I have nothing but time, so start at the beginning.”

For a moment I contemplated leaving last night out, but if I had any hope of getting my Mother’s honest opinion, I had to be completely honest with her in return. She was my best friend, and I knew she wouldn’t judge me. The only part that hedged me was having to tell my Mother that I spent three days living in my car, and then ended up living with Caleb. I didn’t want it to upset her, and however I chose to word it, it was going to.

My only option was to tell her everything, so that’s exactly what I did.

My Mother sniffled when I was finally done. “Oh Kadence.”

There was no condescension, no judgment.

“I’m sorry, Mom.” I wiped my face, and sat up. “I should have told you everything sooner, but I didn’t want to worry you.”

The sun outside was high in the sky, so I surmised it was already past lunchtime. I put my phone on speaker, placed it on the dresser, and rummaged through the closet for some clean clothes while my Mother prattled on.

“You’re my child,” she cried. “I’m supposed to take care of you. You should have told me you needed help, Kadence.”

She hiccupped, and sniffled some more. “I would have helped you with more money if you needed it. I have savings.”

“I didn’t want you to worry about me,” I told her. I pulled a tank top over my head, and slid a pair of shorts on. “Those savings are all you have, Mom. I couldn’t ask you for more.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Asking me for help should have been your first choice, not moving in with Caleb Callahan of all people.”

I stepped outside onto the terrace, and sat down on a lounger. The commotion coming from the streets below matched the noise inside of me.

“I didn’t ask him for help. He found me living in my car, and took me in.”

“You should have come to me,” my Mother argued. “If you had, you wouldn’t have gotten yourself into such a mess.”

Of course she was right.

But I wasn’t going to tell her that.

“Not helping,” I said. “You’re supposed to be on my side.”

“Oh honey, I am. I’m always on your side. I only want what’s best for you, and from what you’ve told me, your decisions in the past two months have been based on feelings you had for a man when you were just a child.”

Oh.

Snap.

“But how did you…”

“A mother always knows, sweetheart. I saw the way you looked at that man, the way you gravitated towards him whenever he happened to be at the same event. I was hoping it would pass, and then everything with your father and his mother…”