Page 65 of Come Back To Me

Aiden and I stayed outside a little longer before we called it a night. I locked up once he and Staci had gone to bed, and checked on Daniel on my way to my bedroom. I stepped inside, careful to shut the door without making a noise, and spotted Kenzi sleeping in my middle of my bed. She was dwarfed by the King sized mattress, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm, and her hands folded under her cheek. I could make out the faint tear stains lining her cheek, the only signs on her face that she was upset earlier. After a few minutes of watching her, I started taking my clothes off on my way to the bathroom. My body was screaming for a hot shower, and a good nights’ sleep, something that had been eluding me the last few nights. I stepped under the hot spray and let out an audible sigh when the warmth fused with my muscles, making them relax. While my body released all the pent up tension, it was my mind that I couldn’t quite get to relax, the conversation with Aiden stuck on repeat. The longer I thought about it though, the more appealing it became. And the dumber I felt for not considering it sooner.

I turned around, the hot water traveling over my shoulders and down my arms, and when I faced the glass door, I paused. Kenzi was watching me from the other side, her eyes wide, lips parted. We stared at each other, her gaze not moving from my face. I pushed my hand against the glass until it swung open.

“Are you okay?” I asked, my voice drowned out by the rushing water.

Kenzi shook her head, and when she started taking off her clothes I didn’t stop her. I should have. I really fucking should have but everything about the way we moved was automatic. She undressed, and I waited, completely at her mercy. She stepped inside, shut the door behind her, and stood in front of me, naked as the day she was born. I knew what she looked like, the planes of her gorgeous body burned into the deepest recesses of my memories, but something about this felt different. New. Like it was the first time. My body hummed with nervousness, and when Kenzi started shaking, I assumed she felt it too.

“Do you want me to leave?”

I looked into her blue eyes and knew without a shadow of a doubt that there was nowhere else I wanted her to be. “Only if you want to leave,” I replied. It didn’t make sense for me to say that, not really, since she came to me but I still found myself wanting her to be comfortable. And that’s how it always been. My body moved to accommodate hers, my actions following a predetermined course with her in mind. Our connection was that visceral, and it hadn’t scared me until right then. I didn’t know what was happening, except that I was following her lead all the way. If I was going to try this again, it would be on Kenzi’s terms, even if she didn’t know it yet.

“I can’t explain it but I feel like I need to be here…” she paused, “like I need you.”

The feelings rushing through me were so immense, so all-consuming that I thought my chest was going to explode. I’d been living with Kenzi’s absence for weeks now, and one look, one admission, had me wrapped up in her all over again and I had to remind myself that this was new to her.

“I don’t get it,” she added, her eyes pleading for understanding. “Why is it always you?”

The need to tell her burned inside me, making my chest feel tight. It would be so easy to tell her about us, about who I was, who she was, but then what? It wouldn’t solve anything or help my case.

“Wish I knew,” I lied. “But I don’t have the answers.”

I expected her to keep asking, but she gave me a simple nod and then turned around so that I could wash her hair, like I’d done so many times in the past. Again, the way her body moved as if it knew something her mind didn’t was difficult to miss. I poured some of my shampoo into my palms, lathered it up, and then pulled my fingers through Kenzi’s blonde strands. I massaged her scalp and her temples, just the way she liked it, and couldn’t help my masculine satisfaction when she tilted her head back and sighed. From this angle, with her height, I could easily place my lips on her forehead but I refrained, afraid that the affection would only serve to confuse her further. She was calm, relaxed, and doing what she felt comfortable with. I had no reason to push for more.

“Your fingers are magic,” she sighed. My lips tilted on their own, recalling the many times she’d said the exact same thing when we were in the exact same position. We got cleaned up, doing everything the way we had done it before, and it was only when I wrapped Kenzi in a towel that she got awkward. I wrapped a towel around my waist, thinking it was my nakedness that make her squirm, and gave her one of my shirts to sleep in. She put her panties on, and darted out of the bathroom like she wasn’t even supposed to be there, despite having spent the last thirty minutes with her soapy hands on my body and mine on hers. I allowed it, and tried not to overthink it, given the circumstances. I had to play it off like it was no big deal.

I finished up, changed into a pair of boxer briefs, and walked back into my bedroom where Kenzi sat cross-legged in the middle of my bed.

“Do you need anything else?” I looked around, feeling rather awkward myself. “I, uh, I’m going to crash with Daniel.” It was going to be a tight fit in his double bed but it beat the sofa.

“Can you stay here?”

“Is that what you want?” Again, I tried not to make anything about me but fuck, I wanted to stay. Just being in the same room as Kenzi like this gave me hope.

“I don’t want to be alone,” replied Kenzi. Her cheeks reddened as if the admission embarrassed her. “I’ll stay on my side of the bed.”

As if. “Okay.”

I switched the lights off, and lifted the covers before sliding in beside her. Her back was to me, and the scent of her soaking my sheets made me want to reach out and touch her. The amount of willpower it took to keep my hands to myself was so extraordinary it made my muscles twitch. My room was silent, save for our breathing, and after what felt like forever Kenzi’s snivels cut into the quiet. I contemplated my next move and made the conscious decision to throw away my own fears long enough to comfort her. I rolled over onto my side, wrapped an arm around Kenzi’s waist and pulled her into me, her back to my chest. She didn’t resist, which came as an odd relief. She turned so that we were face-to-face and I raised a hand to wipe her face.

“Tell me what happened,” I urged softly. I already knew after talking to Aiden but I also knew from experience that Kenzi needed to talk about how she was feeling in order to deal with it. That was my only consolation, knowing that I didn’t have to think about what Kenzi needed. It was instinctual. Hardwired into me after being with her for almost a year.

“I walked in on my Dad having dinner with another woman.” Kenzi’s intake of breath was audible, as was the tremor in her voice. “I know it sounds ridiculous, and it’s been almost twelve years since my Mom died, but it was still….” She trailed off, the shake of her head slight.

“I’m sure your Dad understands.”

Kenzi sighed and her hot breath hit my pecs. I willed my body not to respond because this was not in any way a sexual situation, but Kenzi’s proximity, the feel of her in my arms, her legs twined with mine as if they belonged there, made it quite the feat.

“I’m afraid he’ll think I don’t want him to be happy, that I expect him to be alone for the rest of his life.”

“Knowing your Dad, he won’t think that at all. But you have to know he would never do anything to hurt you on purpose. He loves you more than you could ever know.”

Kenzi went quiet, and then I felt her head tilt up. I looked down, finding her intense blue eyes fixed on my face. “It sounds like you know him really well. How is that?”

“I’ve been coaching alongside your Dad for a while now. He’s a good man, tough, but good.”

Kenzi didn’t say anything, and I assumed the conversation was over but when her silence became a little too intense, her gaze a little too probing, I asked, “What?”

“Nothing. I just…” Kenzi held her breath, and then arched her neck until our lips touched. I froze, surprised, but I didn’t stop her. With wide eyes she asked me a question that didn’t require words so I gave her the only answer I had that didn’t require words either. I closed the gap, and pressed my mouth to hers, allowing my lips to linger. Her body relaxed into mine as she started exploring my lips with hers, pressing slow, drugging kisses against my mouth. I tried to focus on the present, on the way she tasted me, but it was impossible not to remember all the times we’d done just this. Kissed in the dark, not taking more than the other was willing to give. I’d missed her in every way, the way she molded herself to me in the most intimate moments we shared. She was my world from the moment I laid eyes on her and I knew that she was my other half, my better half, the woman who made me want to be a better man. Time could pass in a blur of small, seemingly insignificant moments, but this is what kept me hanging on. This was what I wanted to fight for.