Page 97 of Eternal Devotion

“Good.” He stroked my back so lovingly that I felt part of something special. Not like evil incarnate but like a man on a journey to a destiny he’d never thought possible.

“Do you really hate yourself?”

I ran my hand over his warm skin, memorizing every soft hill and valley. “I hate who I was forced to become. My uncle didn’t give me a choice. It was selfish. A tactical move to ensure the line of succession was solidified. Or rather, that it stayed in the family. The loss of the great elder was not anticipated. Our immortality was more secure when humans were ignorant of our existence. The great elder’s death was the beginning of corruption. Whispers spread. Humans became wiser. Nobody quite realized how fragile our hierarchy was until the era of hunting was born. Valerius’s defiance has only escalated the threat. Now, with Iulian in captivity and the great elder gone, I’m all that remains.”

“What would happen if you both died?”

“The command would pass to the strongest of our kind, and only if they were able to control the shift. If they failed… we would be no more.”

I lifted my head and rested my chin on Ensley’s chest, peering up at him. “Sometimes, I don’t think that would be a bad thing.”

Ensley combed his fingers through my hair. “Is it that awful?”

“It’s lonely. Integration with humans is limited, or rather, it was for a long time. Things have changed. Relationships and friendships usually end in suffering and loss. Some, like me, can’t let go of the past. It’s not the same for everyone, but I miss my family. I miss the simple pleasures of being human. I didn’t take well to the change. Not like most.”

“There must be positives. I mean, you have badass superhero powers. That counts for something, right?”

I chuckled. “Parlor tricks, Ensley. Fascinating in the beginning. But… if there’s one positive, it’s discovering that men like us, gay men, stand a chance in this new world. We can love openly and experience the same privileges as others.”

“Not everywhere. Homosexuality is still a crime in some countries. Even here, we certainly aren’t without discrimination.”

“I suppose, but watching the progress has been comforting.”

“Have you ever had a boyfriend?”

I shimmied up the bed so our faces aligned and noses brushed. I felt his smile on my lips. “No. You speak of impossible things.”

“Not impossible. Cristofer is right. You’re stubborn.”

“He’d be thrilled that you took his side.”

We kissed, a lazy, post-sex connection that reminded me of spring sunshine and budding flowers.

Beginnings.

I shared his pillow, the light at my back casting a delicate glow on his face. The marks in his neck remained, faint and fading. I stroked a thumb over their raised surfaces, still shaken that I’d done this with Ensley.

“My mother wants to meet you.”

His casual statement tore me from my sluggish musing of our situation. “Meet me?”

“Yes. She organized a memorial service for my father this weekend. Halloween night marks fifteen years since we lost him. I don’t want to go. Strathroy is the last place I want to be, but I promised, and… I thought, if you accompanied me, it might help me get through the day.”

It was such an ordinary, human request that I loathed to turn him down. I wanted to bask in the glow of this bond we’d created for as long as possible. Play a part. Act a role. Be the lover or boyfriend Ensley thought I could be.

“I have a mission I can’t neglect. It would be irresponsible to shift it aside, especially when I’ve finally discovered the location.”

Ensley lowered his gaze, breaking eye contact, but his lashes did not conceal his disappointment. “You shouldn’t have to do this alone. It’s too dangerous.”

“It is what it is, and I’ll sort it out.”

“Didn’t you tell Cristofer that it was impossible? You said your uncle was inaccessible.”

“His environment presents a challenge, but I’ll handle it.”

“What sort of challenge?”

I wrapped an arm around Ensley and drew him against my body. His warm skin was a comfort. “It’s not your concern.”