Page 11 of Chasing Smoke

“You know it.”

“How’s work going?”

Nina launches into a story about how she thought the bank was being robbed earlier this week, but it turned out to be a teenager from the nearby high school wearing a balaclava because he was participating in the senior assassin game and his target was in the bank. Which meant that the sheriff had to come, and it was an entire production.

“Don’t they normally start that game in the spring, right before graduation?”

She shakes her head. “Apparently they’re getting an early start this year. Something about the winner being crowned king and queen at the prom.” Nina looks back at the jumping castle. “It’s hard to imagine my sweet little boy being an idiot teenager like that someday.”

A laugh bursts out of me. “Nina…”

She shrugs. “What? It’s true. We were all idiots when we were teenagers. There’s no way around it.” Then she pivots to face me. “Want to swing by tonight after Jacob is in bed? We can hang out, drink some wine. You’re welcome to spend the night in the spare room if you don’t want to drive home.”

It’s a weird paradox… feeling lonely all the time and yet not wanting to be around anyone because it feels like too much effort to pretend I’m still the woman I was. That I’m okay. I’ve found it’s just easier to be alone.

I shift on my feet. “I don’t know if tonight is the best night to⁠—”

“What else are you going to do?” She crosses her arms.

Nina is easygoing to a point, but when she digs in on something, she really digs in. She’s not going to let this go. I should have just agreed.

“Not sure. Probably just go to bed early.”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s a Saturday night. You can come over. Please?” She brings her hands up into prayer pose.

“Fine, fine. I’ll come over.” I point at her. “But I probably won’t stay long.”

Nina raises both hands. “I’ll take what I can get.” She loops her arm back through mine.

I wish I felt as excited as she seems to be. It’s good for me. We used to have so much fun together.

FIVE

Ansel

Istand in the corner of the party, staring at my phone screen displaying the email I composed on my laptop and saved in my drafts earlier today.

Even though I promised myself that I would think about it before I hit Send, I’ve felt as though my phone is burning a hole in the back pocket of my jeans ever since I arrived at the party. As if I’ve been walking around with a live bomb strapped to my body.

It’s not like I’d be doing anything wrong by applying for the firefighter job in Portland. I’m an adult. I’m not married or in a relationship with anyone. I can make my own decisions for myself and my life. But for some reason, it doesn’t feel easy to hit Send on my résumé and cover letter and officially apply for a job out of Echo Lake.

“You have the secrets to the universe in that thing or what?” Hollis stands next to me, nodding toward my phone.

I quickly shut off the screen. “I wish. I’d be a very rich man if that were the case.”

Before he can respond, Elliott comes to stand on my other side.

“Good turnout.” I nod at him, wanting to distract Hollis from asking about what’s on my phone.

“Yeah, seems a little much to me, but Emelia insisted on going all out. This is her first birthday with Baylor, and she wasn’t hearing my objections.”

I scan the rec center, which doesn’t look as though it holds the weekly bingo and bunco games. “I’d say she accomplished her mission.”

Elliott smiles at Emelia arranging all the presents on the table in a neat pile. “Sure did.”

It’s the kind of smile I’d never seen on my older brother’s face until Emelia came to town. Now he’s pretty much obsessed with her. As is my niece.

Love looks good on him. He deserves happiness after the profound loss we both experienced as children.