Page 2 of Chasing Smoke

I race back up the stairs with no thoughts other than I need to get to my husband. I need to be there to see for myself what condition he’s in.

I grab my jeans and sweater from yesterday, whipping off one fuzzy sock at a time, and run back down the stairs. At the door, I slide into my boots and grab my purse, then hurry out, slamming the door shut behind me, not waiting for Ansel.

We’re both silent. My thoughts have burrowed deep, considering seven hundred possibilities as to what I’ll walk into at the Portland hospital.

He’ll make it. He has to. He’s too young. He’s got his entire life ahead of him. We have our entire lives ahead of us. The haunting thought of us never having kids… a family like we planned. No, no. I will myself to push those thoughts out of my head.

It’s Caleb. There’s a reason why TEEX Brayton Fire Training Field wanted him. He’s the best at what he does.

I glance at Ansel. His knuckles are white on the steering wheel, his eyes forward. Gone is my husband’s boisterous best friend who takes nothing seriously.

No. Whatever Ansel thinks, he’s wrong. Caleb will be okay.

I just need to get there, and when Caleb sees me and hears my voice, he’ll fight to get back to me.

What feels like a lifetime later, we get to the hospital. Ansel goes to the nurses’ station, and instantly his shoulders deflate. He circles around, and his eyes give it all away as they always do.

“NOOO…” I scream, crumbling to the floor.

Ansel rushes over to me, his arms pulling me into his chest.

I’m too late.

ONE

Ansel

Iflop down on the barstool across from Fowler and drop a twenty on the counter. “Whiskey.”

He arches an eyebrow, his hand pausing from wiping down the bar top. “No lager?”

“Not strong enough.”

Fowler tosses the cloth under the bar and reaches for a glass. “Spill.”

My hand fists in my lap. “Ramsey got lieutenant.”

“Shit, man, that sucks.” He sets the glass on the bar top and grabs a bottle of whiskey. “You’ll get your chance soon.”

I shake my head. “Unlikely. Our department is small. We started at the same time. I’ll be trailing him my entire career, waiting for him to move up just so I can be his replacement.”

Fowler pours the whiskey into the glass.

“The worst part is I actually like the guy. He’ll do a great job, but I thought I had a shot at that promotion.”

In all honesty, I didn’t always take my firefighting career seriously, which could be why Ramsey got promoted over me, but that all changed eighteen months ago, when I realized I might not have the time on this earth to accomplish my goals.

Caleb.

His face flashes in my mind, but as I always do, I shake it out of my head, gripping the whiskey glass.

Fowler pushes a hand through his messy, dirty-blond hair. “Give me a minute.” Fowler walks out from behind the bar and heads to one of the tables in the main part of the pub.

Fowler is the other point in our triangle. Growing up, he, Caleb, and I were inseparable, doing everything together. While Caleb got married to Collins and built his life with her, Fowler and I became roommates.

Still pissed off that I didn’t get the promotion, I pull out my phone and search the Portland firefighting service website, heading to their job postings. A city would definitely give me more opportunities and the action I’d see.

Holy shit, they have a posting for a lieutenant.