Page 46 of No One But Us

“That’s ridiculous.”

“No. It’s not.” His jaw sets. “And I’m sorry I got mad about you being outside in a towel, but here’s the thing: guys are dogs. Even the good ones. Even me. Even Max. Even my father. You’re this deadly combination of incredibly beautiful and a little naïve, and you just don’t see it.”

“So you’re saying that what happened at Ginny’s birthday was my fault?”

“No. I take full responsibility for that. People do lots of stupid things when they’re drinking, and we’d been drinking a lot. I’m just saying it makes me crazy that you’re so naive, and it makes me crazier that I was the one to take advantage of it.”

“I’m not that naive,” I counter, remembering all the times I had to drag my semi-conscious mother away from Flavio’s disgusting friends. “And you’re making it sound like I’m a moron. Like I’m outside hitchhiking in a halter top or walking around the house naked, and I’m not.”

“Ginny told me you considered going to the Hamptons when Ferris invited you.”

I throw my hands up. “He implied that he wanted to set me up with his son! And he’s my dad’s age! I think it was a reasonable misunderstanding.”

“Maybe it was, but she also told me the shit he said to you, and you should have known.”

“Thanks, James,” I rasp. “Because I don’t feel like a big enough asshole as it is.” I start to turn but he grabs my arm.

I hate that even at a moment like this, I’m still so absurdly conscious of him, of his bare chest and his vivid eyes and the place where his skin touches mine.

“I’m sorry,” he pleads. “You’re right, and this is coming out all wrong. I’m just trying to say that I feel protective of you, and you might not think you need it, but I do. I still remember the little girl who came to me crying at camp.”

“Everyone was little once. It doesn’t mean they still are.”

“I know,” he concedes. “And I’ll try to be better about it. Just please keep in mind that you’re pretty—no, not just pretty, you’re absurdly beautiful—and you haven’t been on your own that long, so you need to be careful.”

“If I’m so pretty,” I blurt out, “then why was kissing me such a mistake?”

He hesitates. “Elle, you’re 19. I just…don’t see you that way.”

I feel like I’ve been hit. Not that I hadn’t surmised as much by the way he practically ran screaming from the restaurant when it happened, but still… It hurts.

“So you’re not attracted to me?” I ask.

“There isn’t a straight male alive who isn’t attracted to you,” he says hoarsely.

“So what’s the problem?” I persist.

I hate myself for pushing this, but on the other hand, it seems there’s nothing left to be lost.

He pinches the bridge of his nose. “You can find someone attractive and still not want to be with them,” he finally says.

“Ouch,” I say quietly.

“You can’t take it personally. You can have anyone alive.”

“Not anyone,” I say, meeting his eye. “Not the person I want.”

I turn to go back to the house, knowing he will let me go. And knowing he will watch me the whole time I’m walking away. That’s the part I don’t understand.

Chapter 27

JAMES

My entire life I’ve done the right thing. I went to good schools, joined the right clubs. I’m the guy parents like, the one who got their daughter home on time in high school and can be counted on to do the appropriate thing. I was voted “Most Likely to Succeed.” I was not even a contender for “Most Likely to Wind up in Jail.”

Elle walks away, and I stand here watching her, feeling slightly ill. I don’t know who I’ve become this summer, around her, but I know I want it to end.

Max had the decency to wait until Elle was out of the room yesterday before he laid into me about throwing him against the wall. I deserved way worse from him than I got, under the circumstances.