Page 19 of Maybe I’m the Problem

“No, nigga we not even. I didn’t fuck! All this time, you thought I fucked, but I didn’t. Now since your assuming ass was mistaken, you went out and fucked and now I’m done.”

His face was red as hell. He was either pissed off or embarrassed, that was the only time his face turned red. Since we were ending this shit officially, I grabbed a bag and started putting his shit in it. Law didn’t argue or anything. He grabbed it and left. By the time he went through it and found that pregnancy test, either the baby was no longer going to be in my stomach or I was going to be so far gone that I wouldn’t even remember who he was.

After getting a quick cry out once Law walked out the house, I was now parking at my mama’s house. I had already called her and told her I was coming to talk, so I’m sure she had tea and food ready. This was a conversation that was long overdue.

“Why you looking so pale in the face?” She asked as she opened the door for me.

“I don’t feel too good, but I just need to eat.”

She closed the door behind me and fixed me something to eat while I took a glass of water down to keep from throwing up. When Law left, I became so sick that I could barely move but I managed to push through because I had promised my mama I was coming.

“What is going on with you?” she asked as she watched me slowly try and eat the food.

“I’m pregnant, mama. Before you get excited, I don’t think I’m going to keep it.”

“Summer, ain’t no way in hell I’m about to let you sit here and talk like that. You and Law knew exactly what y’all were doing to make this baby.”

“We were careful, though, unless the condom broke or something. I don’t know, mama, but I can’t have this baby. Law and I aren’t on good terms.”

“Y’all go through shit all the time, but it’s obvious he loves you. We all go through rough patches but we stick it out.”

“See, mama that’s why I’m like this now. You stuck it out with daddy while he had fun. You stay in the house and wait on him hand and foot then argue because he came home smelling like a woman. I don’t want to be like that. Seeing you do that scarred me.”

“I’m sorry, but I wanted you in a home with both parents. When you become a parent, you make decisions that aren’t always best for you but for the family. I’m suffering from it now, but I can say you turned out fine. Feisty but fine.”

“I’m not fine, though, mama. I’m insecure as fuck. It was from watching you and then letting Trey dog me out. I’ll be damned if I go through it with Law.”

My mama lifted my head with her hand. “I’m sorry, but getting rid of a baby won’t solve your problem. You got time to learn how to love yourself. I have some things you can do that helped me over the years. It took me years to start putting myself first. One thing about men, they love you but it’s totally different than the love we give them, and that’s why we feel empty even after we have sex with them. Men don’t understand for us it’s more than sex; it’s the things that are said throughout the day and those simple gestures, so when it’s time we don’t feel like an object to them. You are a pretty girl and Law will miss out if he’s messed up but you damn sure don’t have to be a fool for him.”

As she was talking, my phone was going off with text messages from Law.

Law: Answer your phone.

Law: Can I explain?

Law: Don’t be putting nobody in our damn business if you going to take a nigga back.

Law: Man call me goddammit.

I left my mama’s house feeling better now that I told her how I felt. Everything else I had planned was cancelled; the only thing I wanted right now was my bed.

14. LAW

A month later…

I was so heated with Summer. She moved and changed her number on me. Her new salon had a for sale sign up after all that hard ass work. Nobody could tell me shit, not even her mama. I was trying my best to get my girl back, but I couldn’t do that if I didn’t know where the fuck she was at.

“Hey you,” Pinkie bumped into me as I was walking out of the mall.

“What’s up?”

“Why the hell haven’t I heard from you since that night? I hope I ain’t fuck up nothing.” She smirked, showing off that pretty smile.

“Nah, I just been busy as fuck. You know how it is when the season changes in the city and shit.”

“How about you give me a call when you settle down. Maybe cook for you and give you a massage.”

“Pinkie, we can’t keep playing this game with each other and shit. I don’t mind giving you the dick, but I don’t want the problems that’s going to come with it.”