Page 64 of Lick

“You don’t think it’s worth it. Knowing that you’re making sure those kids have a chance at a better life?”

“I don’t see how having me as an option makes them have a better chance at life. Have you met me?”

He laughs. “Yeah, that’s true. But it’s different because Jenni’s involved.”

“Damn right it’s different. Without her I, couldn’t—no, I take that back, I wouldn’t do this. She’s been making me do shit since she showed up with that rat she calls a dog.”

“It’s not a bad thing, though.” He lines up in front of the dartboard. I watch as he takes aim, throwing the dart, hitting the red dot right in the fucking middle. He lets out a little woot, pumping his fist in the air.

“No, I wouldn’t say it’s bad. But it’s sure as fuck different.”

He turns around. “Why do it if it isn’t something you see in your life? Why even put up with everything that comes with taking those kids in?”

“Because I fucking love her and I want her happy.”

Nodding, a fucking smile curling at his lips, he smacks me on the shoulder, “It’s time for you to go home, man.”

I know he’s right.

Fuck me.

My stomach revolts as my mouth waters. There’s no fucking way I’m going to puke. I’m not a bitch, and those drinks aren’t gonna get the best of me. Leaning against the counter, I take deep breaths, going through the events of last night. Hawk was there, I thought he was back in California but what the fuck ever. That whole situation is his deal, which is why I don’t ask. We talked, that thought alone makes me want to puke. I’m turning into a fucking pussy ass bitch revealing my feelings and shit to the guys. None of the guys are going to take me seriously if they think I’ve grown a snatch and want to braid their hair and shit while we talk about our feelings.

Fuck that.

Looking at the mirror, I’m sickened by the man who’s staring back at me. The red eyes, dark circles, day old stubble on my face and head. Last night I walked away from my responsibilities, and why? Because I wanted some pussy? Because I wanted what I’ve been used to getting for the better part of my life? Because I’m weak? Am I that selfish that I threw shit in her face, words that I know she’ll never forget, and walked away from her and the kids?

That thought pisses me off. All that talk with Hawk had me opening my eyes to a lot of shit that I’ve not wanted to admit. Because the truth is I fucking love her, and it wouldn’t matter to me if I had to jerk off for the rest of my life as long as Jenni was with me.

Love might make a man weak, but I’d be honored to find my strength in her.

“Are the kids off to school?”

I lean up against the door frame of my room and watch Jenni limp around the bed as she pulls up the sheets up. I know that my bed was made yesterday, so there must be a reason why she’s making it again.

She slept in my fucking bed.

My head spins at the idea, and it’s not fucking helping this massive headache that I’m sporting at the moment. My head feels like a fucking lead weight, and the idea of her body wrapped up in my sheets while she slept only makes it worse. I know there’s shit to say, and that alone makes me want to turn around and lock myself back in the bathroom, but I won’t.

“Yep,” she responds without looking at me. I don’t like that she won’t make eye contact with me.

I push myself off the wall taking only a few steps until I’m so close I can feel the heat of her body next to mine. “What happened?” I ask. “To your ankle, I mean.”

She turns to look at me. That’s when I notice her chin is a deep purple. “You happened, you big oaf!” She stomps her hurt foot. “Son of a…” Her words die off when she feels my hand on her ankle. Knowing that my contact does this to her only fuels the fire of desire. Swallowing down the emotions I feel dancing within my soul, I peer up at her. She’s fucking beautiful, and I’m a damned son of a bitch for turning my back and making her feel as if she’s not what I need.

On my knee, I assess her ankle. It’s slightly swollen but isn’t bruised. “I did this?” I try to rack my brain, but it comes up empty. Last night is a total blank after I admitted to Hawk that I loved her.

“Yeah, you did this. You fell on me when I tried to coax you to your room.”

As I rotate her foot, I can feel her tense, but nothing indicates that it’s more than a simple sprain. From my perch on the floor, I reach up and slightly drag my finger across the blemish that’s marking her chin. “And this?” Deep purple tarnishes her normally smooth skin.

She looks down at me, searching my eyes for the okay. “I thought…” Her voice trails off.

“You thought what?” Moving my hand from her ankle, I continue making my way up her leg.

“I wanted to help you to bed.” She bites her lip. Scooping her up, I take her back to her room. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Taking you to bed,” I whisper into her ear, then place a chaste kiss on the side of her head. As soon as I enter her room, her scent invades my senses. I never thought all the flowery girlie shit would ever turn me on, but then again, there’s a lot of shit that I’m doing now that I never thought I would do before. And I don’t mind a damn bit.