Page 22 of Lick

“I don’t see how me meeting those kids is any good for them.”

I glance over at him. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, I’m no good for them.”

“You’re their uncle–”

“That really don’t mean shit.”

“Yes, it does. It means everything. You’re their family. The only one they have at this point.”

“Having me as their family doesn’t do them any good. I’m not the one they should be coming to. Me and those kids ain’t gonna mix, that’s the simple truth. They’re better off not knowing me or the history that is their family.”

“You don’t know that. Besides, we’re just going to meet them. That’s all it is at this point.”

“It still isn’t right. I’m not the best thing for those kids. I tried to be a protector once before in my life and look how that turned out.”

“Tylan, you’re probably the only thing that’s good for those kids, especially knowing what they’ve been through—more importantly not knowing what they’ve been through.”

His lips form a thin line. He rubs the finger and thumb over his creased forehead before dropping his head back against the head rest. Letting out a deep breath, he confirms the rumors that I’ve heard since I came to Devil’s Fury.

“I’m going to tell you something I’ve only told one other person. I need you to understand some things about me.” He stops talking, so I glance over, only to see him with his eyes pinched tight.

“When I was twelve years old, my bitch of a mother allowed one of her junkie friends to molest me. If you can imagine it, it’s probably happened to me. For years, I paid for things my mother thought she couldn’t live without. It’s her fault I am the way I am. She allowed so many to take from me.”

“Oh, sweet Jesus,” I say under my breath. I have no idea how to respond to that. I’ve heard the girls talk, but I didn’t believe them. Not a one. “I–I haven’t heard anything like that.” I try to calm his uneasiness.

“I figured you hadn’t since the only person who knows is Cut, and I trust that fucker with my life. I knew the moment I let the information of my past slip that it would be safe with him.”

“I’m sorry,” I say, not knowing what else to add.

“Jesus.” He rubs his hand down his face. “I did not want to ever have this conversation with you. This shit, it’s in my past where I like to keep it.”

“You need to know that I would never divulge your secrets. They’re yours to keep and yours to reveal. I’d never break your trust like that.”

“It’s still shit you shouldn’t have to deal with.”

“I understand that.” And I did. I understood how hard all this was for him.

With another deep breath, he continues. “From that night, having felt what I did as a child, I made a promise that I would never allow that to happen to my sister. For three years, I had bitch after bitch and dick after dick take from me.” He turns his head towards me “Do you know what it’s fucking like to have something taken from you over and over again and you have no control?”

Did I? Was my lack of freedom of choice growing up comparable to what he went through? “No,” I answer.

“Do you know how it feels for a fifteen-year-old boy not to understand why his body physically reacts to something his mind can’t comprehend?” Unable to speak I just shake my head. “Fuck, this is some fucked up shit,” he says under his breath. “Do you know how humiliating it is?”

With tears streaming down my face, I answer again, “No.”

His gaze drifts back out the window. “So many nightmares live within my mind. So many demons I’d never want you to experience. Let alone those kids.”

“Don’t waste your energy worrying about things that will never happen. Those kids will be fine. With the right direction, they’ll be fine.”

“And how do you figure, Sugar Tits?”

“Because behind the crude, silver-tongued biker is a man who has a heart so scarred and damaged, so utterly broken, that the only thing now is to help it heal. I think those kids are the answer.”

“I don’t think that’s possible. I think I’m beyond fixing. Beyond saving.” He flicks his thumbnail between his bottom teeth, still deep in thought. “I came from such a fucked-up life. You really have no idea the hell I come from, and I endured it all because I didn’t want my sister to feel the same agony that I had felt. I couldn’t imagine those sick fucks touching her. She wouldn’t have been able to survive it, so I survived it for the both of us. And for what?” He chuckles to himself. “For her to do the same shit that our mother did.”

“She was sick, Tylan. Addiction’s a disease.”