Page 87 of Accidentally Perfect

Today is doomsday. The day when Michael finds out that he's not the father of my child, of Nathan’s child. Two weeks ago when he confronted me in the park, I called Stella and told her what was going on. She was flabbergasted. I believe her exact words were, “You’ve got to be shitting me.” It wasn’t just the fact that he didn’t believe me, but he didn’t trust her ability to do her job. If there's one person you do not want to see pissed, it's Stella. We made sure there was no doubt Nathan is this child’s father. She was more paranoid about it than I was. Maybe it had to do with her professional reputation over the fact that her best friend was in a fucked up situation. Michael wasn’t having it. The dates printed on the ultrasound wasn’t enough. The three of us underwent DNA testing. He wanted hard evidence, well, he got it.

Nathan, like usual has been a saint while I've been a complete mess; the pregnancy hormones on top of the fear that Stella made a mistake, has taken it's toll on me for the past couple of weeks. I haven’t left the penthouse. I no longer take the kids to school. Nathan handles that. We haven’t started on Nathan’s House yet. From what I’ve heard Nathan say over the phone the ground is ready. I know that Natalie has been doing some soft fundraising by putting the bug in the ears of the city’s bigwigs. The stress is overwhelming. My heart races at all times of the day while I’m awake and when I’m sleeping.

Usually, I’m startled awake by nightmares of either Nathan leaving me or Michael taking the baby and never allowing me to see it. It doesn’t matter which dream I have, my mother is always in both, expressing her blatant disapproval of my life. I feel like a major disappointment; all of this is happening as a result of me making awful decisions.

My mother has been reeling over my stupidity. Just when I thought we were getting over everything from our past, this hits the papers. Now her halfway tolerable rants have turned into how much of a disappointment I am to her. She even tried to throw my father in the mix, not to mention that I'm a disgrace to the Jacobs name.

For the past two weeks, not only have I been linked to Michael and continuing our relationship, I’ve been linked to people I don’t even know, some of them female. How do people come up with these stories? How can I be carrying the child of my lesbian lover? My favorite though has been the one where I stole Elvis’ frozen sperm from whatever sperm bank it was stored in, and now I am trying to take the Elvis Estate for everything. Evidently, I’m teaming up with Lisa Marie in that quest.

Michael is now more vocal in the fact that he's been frozen out of his child’s life. He’s been saying the Whitmore name can buy just about anything, but it’s not about to buy his child. He’s even gone as far as saying that my lack of character is just an example of why he plans on taking full custody of the baby once it's born.

Brad has been a champ through all of this. Nathan's had to position men around the high school where Brad works because reporters were trying to sneak on to campus to get the latest scoop. Nathan generously donated to their science department on behalf of the Whitmore name for whatever inconveniences all of this might have caused. The few times Brad lost his cool and spoke out against the allegations; he's been one hundred percent supportive of my marriage and my pregnancy. He also stated, under no circumstances will he be taking me to court to try to win custody of the twins.

Surprisingly, Joseph Riley has been quiet through it all. That doesn’t mean that he’s trying to support his son, no not at all. His silence is only telling us that he's probably behind everything that is being falsely reported to the papers. Page Six is having a field day running my name and my character through the mud like a fat swine. Needless to say, my life has been one big headache, and I just want to run away, preferably to a warm island where they don’t have cell service or Wi-Fi.

We’re meeting Michael at the doctor’s office that he chose for the test. Stella was beyond pissed that he didn’t trust her to do it. He thought she would change the results to be in my favor. What the hell is this, Days of Our Lives? Stella is no baby daddy switching psycho, her words not mine. But I gave into what he wanted. Luckily, the test came in between my scheduled appointments because there was no way in hell that I was going to be able to handle Michael sitting in the chair while the doctor did my monthly exam. “Nat will be here any minute to watch the girls. Are you just about ready?” I look up and see Nathan standing in the doorway of our room.

“Yes, I guess.” I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve lost weight. The stress is affecting me like I never thought it would. I’m just about three months now. Still too soon for an actual baby bump to be visible. In my clothes, you can’t tell I'm pregnant. But when I’m naked, you can see the faint swell of my belly. If I were at a healthier weight, I’m sure it would take another month or so before you could see anything.

“Love?”

“Yes.”

“You can’t keep letting everything get to you. It’s not healthy for you, for the baby and especially not for the girls. They miss their mommy, love.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I know deep in my heart this baby is yours. That there isn’t anything to worry about, but it’s the what-ifs are haunting me. What if Stella was wrong?”

“She’s not.” He comes up behind me and wraps his strong arms around me.

“I’m sorry, Nathan. I’m sorry that I’ve turned my back on you and the girls over the past couple of weeks.”“Don’t. Don’t do that. I know what you’ve been going through. I know what thoughts have been running through your head, baby.”

“I can’t help it.” The tears begin to fall. “Everything that I’ve dragged you into. I know this is why you’ve always been free, without attachments because all it does is cause heartache. Love causes heartache and I’m sorry.”

“Laney, you have to know how much I love you. You have to know that I trust in my instincts and my entire being has always told me that you're my life, my world and I wouldn’t change anything about it.”

“I haven’t been the wife you deserve, Nathan. I’ve completely checked out lately, physically, emotionally and you’ve had to pick up the slack. I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve the love you have for me.”

Just like I normally do, I zone out and only think of myself. I did it when I was going to school, and Brad cheated on me. I did it when I was so busy at work, and Michael ended up with his face between his neighbor’s nasty-ass legs. I can’t remember the last time that I touched Nathan, or when I allowed him to touch me, let alone make love. I think the last time was the night before Michael confronted me in the park, but I can’t be sure. It was at that time when I started to basically put my life on hold, waiting for the news that I’m praying will come.

“Baby.” He squeezes me tighter. I close my eyes as I feel his hands rub up and down my arms. “Please don’t worry about anything. Everything is going to turn out just the way it’s supposed to. I know it will. There’s no reason for you to be getting so upset.”

“But, Michael...”

“What about him? He’s trying to get his five minutes of fame. Do you know how many rags he’s sold his story to? At least fifteen. He’s dropping this ridiculous story to anyone who will stop and listen. Once the results are read, it will all go away. I promise you.”

“I’m trying to be strong, Nathan, but I’m so scared. I don’t think I’ve ever been this scared in all my life.”

“You have no reason for any of the fear you are holding in your heart, love. Hear my words. I love you. You are my everything, and it’s going to take more than all of this gossip to tear me away from you and our family. I love you. Since the moment I laid eyes on you, I’ve loved you. Before you even spoke one word to me, you’ve been mine. Nothing is going to take you away from me. The only way I will ever walk away is if you’re right by my side.”

“Okay, let’s do this.”