Page 37 of Accidentally Perfect

I spin around so I’m facing him, pointing my finger. “I won’t—I’m not. I’m just stressed about my girls.”

“Our girls.” He looks over at me, still keeping his body facing forward.

“Yes, our girls.”

The elevator comes to the stop and the doors open. I immediately see the signs for the staff lounge, and make my way over. I just want to get this conversation over with so I can get up there with my girls. “Mrs. Whitmore, you can go ahead right on through, you should have as much privacy as you need.” Before I could even address who I am and what I need, I was ushered through with Brad following closely behind.

“Damn, it’s happening already. The world is going to fall at the feet of Mrs. Nathan Whitmore.”

“Hardy har har, very funny.” We make our way to a quiet spot in the corner of the outside lounge area.

“I don’t want to argue with you. I don’t want to throw our screw-ups from the past in each other’s faces, Brad. Not tonight; not anytime soon. I just want what’s best for the girls.”

“I agree, but I’m not certain we’re on the same page when it comes to what’s best, Laney.” He takes a seat across from me. “I’ve always taken a back seat in the decisions that pertain to the girls. I’ve sided with you when it comes to their interests and hobbies. Agreed with you when you wanted to enroll them in private school instead of public. I’m not talking about the money factor in that little tidbit either. But now things are different. This isn’t about who takes piano and who doesn’t. This is about another man coming into my, our daughters’ lives and being a full force presence.”

“I love him.”

“Christ, Laney, you don’t even know the guy. How are those three words that you just said supposed to make me feel better when it comes to the welfare of the girls?”

“I know how it sounds. Don't you think I’ve thought about that? I thought about it the entire flight back home. I’m not one to believe in love at first sight. That’s not how I operate, but there’s just something about him. Something that I haven’t felt since my father was alive.” I see the hurt flash through his eyes. “I know that hurts, Brad, and I’m sorry—”

“There’s no need to be sorry, Laney.”

“I really am, though. You and I were over before we started. We both know if I hadn’t gotten pregnant then we wouldn’t be together today. We want different things, different lives. I always wanted to be someone other than a wife, other than a mother. Why do you think I fought so hard to get back into school, to get my degree, to get my career on track?”

“Yeah, I know. I think you plowed over me and my feelings in the process.”

“I know how I hurt you when I cut you out. I didn’t act as a wife should have. I completely blocked you out and concentrated on my studies and the girls. But don’t you think there was a reason for that? Don’t you think that if I truly loved you and really wanted the life that I was living that I wouldn’t have done that to you? Do you think that if you really loved me and were truly happy that you wouldn’t have done what you did?”

“The past is the past, Laney. It doesn’t matter how I felt about you back then; it doesn’t matter how I may feel for you now because I can see you’ve moved on. The problem I have is that you’ve moved on with a man who you barely know. You and I both know that Michael wasn’t anything to you. Now I see you with this other man, one whom you happened to be married to, and I’m a bit freaked out. Vying for my daughters’ attention and love isn’t something I’m used to. I’ve always been it to them, but now, that may not be the case. The girls look at Nathan like he’s a brand new puppy.”

“He has that effect on people.”

“Women, Laney. He has that effect on women because I couldn’t care less about him, his good looks, his money, or how powerful his family is. That information has no bearing on the fact that you’re letting a total stranger get too close to the most important people in my life.”

“Do you really think I would put the girls in a situation other than a healthy one?”

“Well, you do let your mother in their lives. That choice right there is one mark against you.”

“You’re right, my mother isn’t the best parent, but she loves those girls.”

“Are you sure about that? She doesn’t seem too loving when she’s so mean to Amanda. Is that the kind of grandparent you want for the girls? You need to pull your head out of the sand when it comes to her, Laney. You need to stop holding your breath that Vivian will wake up one day and realize she has a beautiful family. You aren’t beauty to her, you’re only disappointment—”

“Hey, stop!” I slam my hand down on the table.

“You know for a fact she treats Amanda the same way she treated you. I expected by now that you would have opened your eyes to see how she is with them. They're young, like you were, and all they want is the love of their grandmother, but love isn’t something that Vivian is capable of. You and I know both know that.”

“I know it.” I give him a small smile. I reach out and take his hand from across the table. “The only thing that I’m grateful for when it comes to my father’s passing is my age when it happened. I know I wouldn’t have survived her if he died when I was a child. I know she isn’t any better as a grandmother than she is as a mother. I’ve spent my life hoping that she would turn a new leaf, but I know it won’t happen. I know she is who she is, and it’s not something I want in my daughters’ life. I just need to come to terms with the finality of my relationship with her. I know it’s way past the point of fixing it. She feels no need to fix it because she doesn’t feel that she’s ever wrong in her own feelings and actions.”

“I’m glad you see that, Laney.”

I try to compose myself. “I admit, the way I met Nathan is something I won’t rave about. My actions and my spontaneity are very questionable. I believe that I knew what I was doing, ah, I may not remember most of it, but I believe Nathan came into my life for a reason.” Brad rolls his eyes at my confession. I clear my throat and carry on. “I have a connection with Nathan, and it’s one that’s not going to be easy to break, if at all. You need to trust me. You need to trust my instincts when it comes to him and when it comes to our girls because I would fight Satan himself if it meant keeping them safe. Don’t you ever doubt my loyalties when it comes to our girls.”

“I know you would, Laney.”