Page 63 of Love & Notes

His hands tighten. He deepens the grind against him, forcing me to feel every inch of his length through our clothes. The direct friction ignites everything in me, setting my entire nerve endings on fire, burning through the last of anything I had left to hold onto.

“Oh my god.” I breathe, my head falling heavily against his neck.

My fingers clutch desperately at his back as I finally stop fighting, finally stop thinking, and let myself lose everything against him.

Everything else vanishes.

There is only this.

There is only him.

22

Julian

The shower I take after I get back to the townhouse is cold.

Deliberately cold. I need to cool the fuck down.

I lean my forehead against the tile, letting the water hammer against my tense shoulders. I can’t focus on anything else. My mind won’t settle. It keeps dragging me straight back to the practice room. To the desperate sound she made when she finally stopped fighting herself and let go.

I have heard a lot of things in my life, but that sound is something that will not leave me alone.

The cold shower is supposed to be helping.

It is not helping.

"The quiet ones." Josh called it weeks ago. He said quiet ones were the ones you had to watch.

Bloody hell, he was definitely right.

She wasn’t performing—that’s the thing that really gets me. Every other girl I’ve ever been with has known exactly what they were doing. It was as if they felt they were being watched, being assessed, trying to play a part that suited being with me.

Ellise wasn’t performing. Not for a single second.

She was simply feeling.

It was as if she had completely forgotten about her walls, like she had forgotten that anyone else existed.

Never in a thousand years did I expect that kind of fire from her.

I fucking loved it.

Afterwards, I noticed the way she couldn’t quite meet my eyes as she straightened her sweats. But I didn’t care. I loved seeing her lose control with me. I was just grateful I’d managed to keep it together. I was seconds and one more sound from her away from a situation that no amount of cold showering would have fixed. One that would have been catastrophic for my dignity.

As I rinse the soap away and turn off the valve, one thing is completely clear.

She has wrecked me entirely.

And I’m counting down the minutes until I can taste her again.

Josh, Theo, and Marco have been on my case since breakfast.

“Just tell us,” Josh says, for what feels like the tenth time, leaning against the wall of the entrance lobby with that smarmy, self-satisfied smirk he thinks makes him look clever. “Was it Nancy again? Or did you finally do something about Vance?”

“Nothing happened,” I say, keeping my voice flat. “With anyone.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Theo winks, nudging Josh. “Keep telling yourself that. You’ve been grinning all morning. It’s a bit fucking weird, man.”