Page 76 of Slayer

His breath catches, and a look of distress crosses his eyes. “So you have to—”

“Die. Yes.” I cut in before he can finish, the word clean and practiced. Familiar. It doesn’t hurt for me to say it. I’ve known this was my destiny my whole life. Roman doesn’t move or speak. He watches me like if he looks away for even a second, I’ll disappear.

“I have to die so the new Soul can rise,” I continue, my voice steady and detached from emotion. “The most beautiful, most light-filled soul this ocean has ever seen. The only one strong enough to end the war. Though it’s only just beginning. It will get worse before it ever gets better.”

I’ve known my fate for as long as I can remember. I’m only living and breathing until Mira needs me to die. That was always the plan. Always my destiny. I accepted it, and I’m even content with it. I know Mira will fight like hell when she learns the truth. She’ll tear through worlds looking for a way to save me. My gods, I love her deeply. I hate to be the one to shatter her heart. But there’s no other option.

I was born to die.

“There has to be some way to reverse it,” Roman says, the words breaking out of him like he physically can’t hold them in. It’s the first time I’ve seen him shaken, and I don’t like it at all. I shake my head once.

“Nothing can be done,” I say with a sigh. “I wasn’t brought into this world to live, I was made to wait. I’m just a placeholder. A vessel. Something created for war and nothing else.” My voice stays calm, but there’s a sharpness underneath it I can’t fully hide. “But I became more than she ever intended. Smarter than she ever accounted for.” My fingers curl slightly against the fabric beneath me.

“I learned young not to touch the sea. Not even stand on a dock with the tide moving beneath it. She has every siren waiting for me to slip up.” My gaze lifts to his. “The moment I step into the water, she’ll feel it and know where I am.” A quiet, lethal certainty settles in my chest. “That’s what the nightmares are about. Her finally having me.”

“How could she know? The ocean is endless,” he says like he’s trying to reason his way out of it. I get it, I really do. I’ve been through the same thought process a thousand times.

“Because when she bound us together, she paid a price. Veyra made her give up half her soul to break the law. Which means I carry it.”

The words feel different when spoken aloud. Real in a way they never were when they only lived inside my own head. “I took half the Soul of the Ocean the moment I was created. She doesn’t fully own it anymore.”

Silence falls, deep and absolute. I look at Roman. Shock has stripped every mask from his face. His lips part slightly, his eyes searching mine like he’s looking for the edge of a lie but not finding one.

“You’re the Soul of the Ocean,” he breathes. “But bound to land?” He’s not even filtering his thoughts now, just trying to keep up with them.

I give him a moment and nod once. “I am,” I say, my voice rasping. Understanding hits him in waves.

“And the sirens…” he says, already chasing the next question. “If you are the other half of the Soul, why are they still loyal to her?”

“Because she comes from a royal bloodline among the sirens. Her sister, Sirena, was their queen. And my mother has been alive for longer than most kingdoms have existed. Who knows what she’s promised them, or what she’s threatened.”

“What would happen to you,” Roman asks carefully, “if they ever captured you?” So many questions. I would ask them too, if I were in his place.

“I would never be seen again,” I say. “They would take me to a siren village only their kind can reach, deeper than light can touch.” My voice lowers despite myself. “I would be drowning and breathing at the same time. Like taking in only half a breath and knowing you will never get the rest.” The instinctive wrongness of the feeling curls through my chest, as if I’m a baby again in that wretched place.

“I need both,” I continue. “Saltwater and air. That balance is the only way I can survive.” But Roman knows that. He left a tub of warm saltwater for me to bathe in after fighting for my life. My gaze drifts briefly toward the windows and the land beyond them. “I found that balance here.” Silence settles between us, thick with understanding and a bond that only the truth can forge.

“When I said I would find you anywhere,” Roman says, steady like a vow, “I meant it.” He doesn’t look away, his confidence unwavering. But he’s never seen a true siren. Never stood in black water. Never felt the pull of that abyss. And still, he speaks like distance, depth, and death are mere inconveniences.

Instead of fighting him, instead of cutting the moment apart the way I always do, I smile. Sometimes it’s nice to pretend that someone could find me. Lingering in the bliss of knowing he even wants to, I go quiet, my thoughts pulling inward, turning over each other like a whirlpool.

“Do you feel lost,” he asks quietly, “not being in the sea?” The question goes straight through me.

“It feels like half my soul is still there,” I admit before I can stop myself. “Calling me home every second of every day.” My gaze drifts toward the windows, toward the dark horizon beyond them. “My home is right out there… and I won’t ever know what it truly means to return to it until the day I die.”

His jaw ticks. “There has to be a way around this curse,” he says, already moving pieces in his mind. “Some bargain Veyra would accept. Some loophole. If your mother found one, surely you can as well.” His eyes roam the room like the answer might be written on the walls.

“Roman,” I say, “there is no deal. Nothing stops this. This is my destiny.” I hold his gaze so he understands. “I’m willing to die for it.”

“No.” The word is quiet, but it lands like glass shattering between us. “There must be another way.” He doesn’t raise his voice or move, but he’s immovable as stone as the stubborn determination locks into place.

That’s what sparks the anger. Why is he fighting this? This isn’t his fate. Isn’t his war. Isn’t his death. He’s known me all of five weeks. Heat crawls up my spine as he looks at me like my life is undecided, like I’m someone that can be saved or even wants to be. I’ve made my peace with my sacrifice.

“Why do you even care?” I snap, the frustration finally breaking through. “None of this concerns you. This is my fate, not yours.” My eyes narrow to slits as I pull my legs away from him, folding in on myself and retreating behind my own walls.

“You really don’t know?” he asks softly. “You have no idea who you are to me?” His eyes are burning now, alive with something ancient and consuming. “I would think for someone as intelligent as you, you would have figured this out by now.”

Before I can say anything back, he slides from the bed and stands. “Roman, what are you doing?” My voice sharpens as he crosses the room. He reaches my armoire and picks up the small mirror resting beside the carved box of my weapons, turning it once in his hand before bringing it back with him.