Page 70 of Thin Ice

“I chatted with Stevie before I came to find you. We’ve talked before about her mostly open relationship with Lucas. Her sister has two husbands as well, one of which was Leo’s best friend and coworker prior to the three of them coming together.”

“They do have a unique family.”

“They do. I needed someone who would understand what I was going through, and she suggested I talk to you about it and see where your feelings landed.”

He exhales a breath. “Can I be honest?”

“Of course,” I say.

“I wish you would have come to me first.”

“I was scared, too. It’s not like what I was feeling was easy.”

“But I would have understood.”

“Maybe, but I was also afraid that you’d tell me it was over between us or that you had feelings for Beck and you’d ride off into the sunset together.”

Noah frowns. “You really think I would do something like that? You know how I feel about you, Quinn.”

“I know, but he was your first love, right?”

Noah dips his chin.

“Exactly. And while I understand why you didn’t say anything, he’s a first love I didn’t know you had.”

“I hate that you had to find out the way you did. I should have told you from the beginning.”

“It’s okay—”

“But it’s not,” he argues. “Here I am upset at you for not coming to me right away and being honest when I hadn’t been honest, either. I’m sorry I’ve been so unfair to you.”

Annoyance crawls through my veins. “Stop saying you’re sorry.”

“But I am sorry!”

I throw up my hands. “Well, stop! I don’t want you to be sorry—I want you to do better!”

“I’m trying.”

I run my hand through my hair in frustration. “I know you are, but I need to know if you’re trying because you want to or if you’re trying because you feel like you need us to be perfect, like everything else in your life.”

“Tell me how you really feel,” Noah says dryly.

“Noah.” I sigh. “If you run from this—”

“You didn’t ask me Truth or Dare.”

“I think this is more important than a game we were already failing at.”

“Ask me,” he says.

“Truth or Dare?”

“Truth.”

“Are you trying because you want to, or are you trying because you feel like you have to? Because you need our marriage to be perfect?”

He stares at me with an intensity I only ever see on the ice. “I’m trying because I love you, Quinn. Because I want you in my life, any way I can have you. I don’t know how else to show you that.”