Page 101 of Thin Ice

I lift a brow at Noah. “What?”

“I like when you’re yourself, too, Sunshine.”

“Meaning?”

A new song starts to play, and I begin to sway us to the beat.

“In our relationship, you’ve always deferred to me to lead.”

“How so?”

“Until you gave me the choice to come here with you, we hardly ever fought. I can’t even remember the last time we had a disagreement, if ever. You always went along with what I wanted, even down to the groceries or meal prep options my trainer told me to order each week.”

“I was trying to make things easier.”

“I know that, and I love that you were trying to please me, but I didn’t realize how much of yourself you were giving up for the sake of my happiness.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“You aren’t a follower, Quinn—you’ve only forced yourself to become one. I made you one when I took away your choices.”

“You didn’t take away my choices. I still made them.”

“Let me explain.”

He waits until I nod for him to continue.

“Your life revolves around hockey,” he states. “You live in Seattle when I know you’d rather live somewhere warm all year round. You eat according to my special diet when I know you’d rather eat food with seasoning. I don’t even know if you like the job you do or if you do it to be close to me and make our lives easier. Regardless, you’ve never complained. You supported me, and in return, I didn’t allow myself to see how unhappy you were or how unsatisfied you’d become—not just emotionally, but physically as well.”

My pulse beats faster at his admission, that he’s saying what we’ve both been ignoring for so long.

Noah pulls me closer until I can feel Beck’s heat radiating through both of us, and the mixed combinations of their cedar and sandalwood scents tickle my nose.

“But I see it now, Quinn. I see the You who’s been here all along, the one who wants to take control and knows exactly what she wants and says it.”

I swallow the clog in my throat. “And that doesn’t scare you?”

He shakes his head. “No, Sunshine. I love it.”

“Noah likes when others take charge,” Beck chimes in.

My husband’s ears turn pink, but it’s not a lie. I’ve seen it. I’ve taken part in it. And I won’t lie and say I don’t want to explore more of it.

“It’s part of you,” Noah adds. “And the way I’ve seen you come into yourself and shine in the last several days reminds me of the young Quinn I met all those years ago. She was ready to take on the world and enjoy everything life has to offer. My sunshine to my clouds.”

His cheesy words should make me laugh, but they only make me love him more.

“This is good, you two,” Beck mutters softly. “You danced through a whole song.”

Noah’s eyes sparkle. “See?” Our bodies mold together as the next song starts. “A born leader.”

My heart thumps wildly in my chest, and I look over Noah’s shoulder at Beck. He’s still holding on to Noah like I asked, and my husband is leaning against him, their breaths synched.

Heat gathers lower in my belly watching them. They’re beautiful together, and I know Noah and I wouldn’t be dancing like this if he wasn’t anchoring us, just like he did during our first breathing exercise.

I don’t recognize the song, one with a slow and sultry beat, but it overtakes me. I fall into the role of the leader, my hips moving in figure eights against Noah’s, the bulge in his shorts growing the longer I grind.

His hands dig pleasantly into my waist, and I move my own to brace Beck’s, looking up into his eyes. The heat I find in them shouldn’t surprise me, and I gently increase the pressure of my hold so he moves, creating a sensual dance between the three of us.