Page 128 of Knox

I am exhausted.

I unholster my sidearm, setting it on the nightstand, and begin unbuttoning my shirt when a knock sounds at my door.

My hand instinctively drops to my hip out of habit before I remember where I am.

It must be one of the guys, I think, but when I open the door, I find Cillian standing there, smiling.

I stay silent, torn between everything I now know and how much I should tell him.

Unfortunately, Cil misinterprets my silence as an invitation and steps into my room.

He leans in, his lips inches from mine, and I want to kiss him…

I want to so fucking badly.

But that’s exactly why we can’t.

I place my hand against his chest, holding him at arm’s length. “Stop, Cil. We can’t.”

“But in the car—”

“The car was an exception.”

“Can’t we make this one an exception too?”

Say yes.

Tell him yes, Knox.

“No,” I force out. “We can’t.”

“But—”

“Cil, you promised,” I remind him, and his eyes drop.

Fuck, why is this so hard to watch?

“Knox…” he whispers my name. “At least tell me something that isn’t a security protocol. Something you want.”

And I shouldn’t tell him anything at all, but my soul is begging me to give him an answer that’s real.

Just one.

Just this last time.

“I want this job to be over, and for you to still be breathing.”

His face snaps up, and he looks at me expectantly, so I move away and step out of my room.

“Come,” I order, leading him back to his room.

Stopping in his doorway, I tuck my hands behind my back, putting a physical barrier between us so I can’t reach out and touch him.

“Your panic button is on the nightstand. Whatever you need, there will always be a Harknett outside your door, and if you want to go out, you call me. Do you understand?” I wait, but he stays quiet, looking at the floor. “Cillian, you don’t leave your room without me. Do you understand?”

“Yes…” he whispers, retreating inside.

I double-tap my earpiece, doing my best to ignore the pain in my chest. “Primary in his room.”