Page 101 of Knox

The second incomprehensible thing is how much I’m enjoying my time with Cillian.

Yeah…

I know.

A few weeks ago, I wanted to do nothing but smack the hell out of him.

But now?

Now, I can’t keep my hands off him.

And I mean that literally.

I’ve even tried to stop myself from reaching for him, but ever since we agreed that anything goes as long as we’re at the cabin, it’s like the dam broke and everything came flooding through.

No joke, we look like a pair of ridiculous honeymooners.

We kiss against every wall, grind against every surface in this house, and dry-hump over every piece of furniture.

Which… I’m definitely not complaining about.

And third, the most insane fact of them all… I cannot believe this side of Cillian.

He’s incredible.

I always knew he was a sex god, but over the past few days, I’ve learned he’s also a sweet, adorable, funny man who is very content with a quiet life.

He likes to paint, walk in the forest, follow squirrels, try out new recipes, and just… be.

Before this, I assumed rich brats like him needed to party, travel all the time, buy useless shit, and step on everyone around them just to function.

And sure, in the beginning, Cillian acted like that too.

But now?

Hell, now I see him in a completely different light, and I keep asking myself which one is the real Cillian.

Part of me hopes this version is who he truly is.

But another part of me is terrified that it’s real… because if it is, leaving him when this is all over is going to destroy me.

I step outside, inhaling the smell of pine and flowers.

Oof…

If only New York would smell like this.

Cillian is hunched over his easel, way too lost in his own world to notice my presence.

I look over his shoulder at the new piece and smile.

Unlike yesterday’s, today’s painting makes me feel good.

It looks like something that’s submerged underwater, and it is bright and so much calmer.

Wow…

I guess Cillian was right about the connection between art and emotion, because I’m starting to understand his emotions a little better through his art.