Page 49 of Crossing Arizona

“They’re fucking. Taylor and Huckslee are fucking. Everybody’s fucking. I came looking for you because you’re anti-fuck.”

Matty’s wide-eyed gaze locks with mine over her head, his face turning red as I bristle under the blanket.

“I am not anti-fuck.”

“Could’ve fooled me,” she grunts, reaching back to drape Matty’s arm over her. “I’ve never so much as seen your dick wiggle in any direction.”

Heat floods my cheeks as Matty lets out an awkward cough, and I quickly turn away to hide my reaction. “It just hasn’t found its person yet.”

Well, it has. But that person doesn’t want it. And she knows this.

Salem snorts into my shoulder. “Aw, your dick is selective. That’s really cute.”

“Shut up and go to sleep,” I grumble, burying my face into the pillow.

She snickers but thankfully doesn’t press further. Neither does Matty, but the tension is thick in the following silence. I can tell by how his breathing never evens out that he’s still awake.

And he stays that way long after Salem and I have drifted off to sleep.

Chapter twenty-one

Sometime in the night, Salem and Xed switched places. Even in sleep, our bodies pull toward each other like magnets, it seems, which is how I woke up pressed against the side of the Benz with Xed’s face buried in my chest.

His arm is lazily draped over my waist, his breath warm against my skin, brushing across my nipple in a way that has my pulse kicking up. My throat feels tight as I stare down at him, his features softened in sleep.

In all honesty, I don’t know what to do.

I’m hard. Why does he make me so fucking hard?

My body says one thing—stay perfectly still, let myself indulge in the feel of him for just a little longer. But my mind? My mind’s screaming at me to move. To pull away, to stop this before it goes too far, before I do something I can’t take back.

Tentatively, I trace my fingers up his spine, knowing full well I should keep my hands to myself, but it’s been so long, and he feels so damn good in my arms. Soft and pliant, especially in sleep. The gel in his mohawk has long since dried out, the dark strands falling over his brow, and I brush them away to study his face.

He’s always looked so calm when he sleeps. Peaceful. Just for a second, I can forget how much he hates me and pretend that everything is how it used to be—when it was just us and Hannah, when things felt right.

My arms tighten around him involuntarily as Salem’s words from yesterday echo in my head.

I can’t make you see what’s right in front of you. But you’re going to realize what an idiot you are really soon.

I already know I’m an idiot. And no offense, but her advice is the last thing I need right now, seeing as how she has her own shit with Logan to sort out.

I toss her an annoyed glance over Xed’s head, taking in the drool on her chin as she spoons him, her arm slung possessively over his waist.

They’ve grown quite close over the past year, apparently. I’m glad for it, honestly, I am, but there’s still that familiar pinch in my chest when I think about all the ways she’s gotten to be there for him when I haven’t. Protecting him was supposed to be my job.

Not hers.

But I screwed that up. Just like I screw everything else up.

Xed shifts in my arms, wriggling slightly, and I gasp when I feel his cock brush against mine. His very hard cock.

I should move away. Let him go, turn around, leave the damn car, and jump in the lake to cool down. It would be the smart thing to do, seeing as how I’m getting married tomorrow.

But he said he loves me. He’s in love with me.

That fact only has me pulling him closer, inhaling the scent of the gel in his hair as I roll my hips gently against his. A soft whimper leaves his lips, my nipple budding under the warmth of his breath, and I swallow a moan.

Fuck, this is wrong.