Page 1 of Crossing Arizona

Chapter one

“Stick your tongue out for me.”

As smoke swirls around my head, I lean back against the sectional cushions, parting my lips so that Devon can rub a powder-covered finger over my gums. He’s naked, pierced cock at full attention, standing between me and my roommate, Salem. She just snorted a line moments ago, but she’s been stoned all day, much like myself.

Her head rolls to the side, bright red hair a mess around her delicate features, and her gray eyes are glassy as she offers me her hand. “You okay?”

Nodding, I thread our fingers together as Devon kneels in front of her and dips his head between her spread thighs. She and I never used to be close. Not until last year, when everything changed. When my best friend and the love of my life left me behind, taking his daughter and my heart with him. The daughter that I helped raise.

Salem moved in after her own relationship failed, and we’ve been there for each other as friends. I’m not into her like Devon, who’s currently eating her out while tears track down her pale cheeks. He’s also five years older than us and her ex-boyfriend’s uncle.

But that’s not my business. She’s coping in her own way. So am I.

My gaze shifts, taking in the townhome I shared with Matty for four years, where we raised Hannah. It’s still decorated the same, each piece of furniture holding memories of my soul. The walls are still lined with every street sign we stole as kids, each one representing a different part of our story. As I raise the hookah nozzle to my mouth, inhaling deep, my eyes snag on the one that I’ve contemplated taking down thousands of times over the last year since he left me.

A yellow diamond-shaped sign with Duck Crossing emblazoned in thick black letters, followed by a silhouette of a momma duck and her ducklings.

The first one I stole for him.

The sign that made me realize I’d fallen in love with my best friend.

I should be celebrating today. If I were a good friend, I’d be stoked for Matt and the news he just dropped on me today like a nuclear bomb, but I’m not.

Instead, I’m mourning the life I lost—a life I clearly never deserved, despite what he used to tell me growing up.

Salem squeezes my hand as she comes, but when Devon moves over to suck me off, I glare at him. He lifts a pierced brow, running a hand through his hair, and I shove him off me before getting to my feet. I don’t want Dev like that, he’s just my dealer.

I want the one person I can’t have.

Devon switches places with Salem, and she tosses me a sad smile as she climbs onto his lap, knowing me enough by now to understand that I like my space. I’ve always been a loner at heart. The only one who ever climbed my near impenetrable wall and forced himself into my life is currently seven hundred miles away, preparing for his wedding to the woman who’s been the bane of our existence since high school.

As I approach the stairs, my eyes catch on that Duck Crossing sign again. The pit of resentment inside me grows as the memories break through the glass wall I’d tried to encase them in—moments from our first year in high school, when we were just barely fourteen years old.

“Run, Matty!”

Adrenaline pulses through my veins, a maniacal laugh bursting from my throat as I hop over a line of hedges, arms hugging the street sign I just stole to my chest. Heavy thuds land on the concrete behind me as Matt follows, but of course, the clumsy asshole trips. He’s always had big feet and no idea how to move them.

“Shit fuck!” He cries out as he hits the ground hard, and I spin around in time to watch him sit up with a wince, shaking out his white blond strands. Just as I help haul his big body up, red and blue lights flash, a spotlight sweeping the neighborhood for us.

Next thing I know, Matty tackles me to the ground, his broad chest pressing mine into the grass below the bushes in someone’s front yard. The sign is trapped between us, and I let out a wheeze. The scent of mint tickles my nostrils as his hot breath brushes over my ear.

“Shh,” he whispers, sky-blue eyes following the patrol car as it slowly passes us. Even though he’s making it hard to inhale, I settle into the earth beneath me, feeling his body like a weighted blanket, calming my storm. He waits until the cops have left the block before he speaks again. “Okay, they’re gone. What did you need to do so bad that you dragged me out here in the middle of the night?”

“It’s barely midnight,” I huff between shallow breaths. “Don’t be lame.”

“Oops, sorry.” Lifting off of me slightly, he grins crookedly. “It’s a school night, Xed. I have football practice in the morning.”

Flipping the sign around, I raise it between us, covering my face. “Happy birthday, Matty.”

He gasps softly, followed by a loud laugh that vibrates between us when his stomach flexes against mine. “Duck Crossing? Is this for me?”

“Duh.”

Why would it be for me? I don’t even like ducks, but they’re his favorite animal. As soon as I saw the sign near the park pond, I knew I had to get it for him.

“I love it.” He sets it down on the grass beside us before curling his fingers into my dark hair. “You think my parents would let me have one?”

“Yeah, no. Your mom nearly popped an artery when Jenna brought home that goldfish from the fair.”