Page 142 of Commanding Blood And Bonds
Whoosh, whoosh, whoosh.
Chests heaving, we stared each other down—her with stubborn resolve that this was the only path, me with the full force of defiance.
“Fuck the threads, Ally. Damn them all. I’m not letting you go. Not again.”
“Selfish,” she breathed, and the word ripped the air from my lungs. I scrubbed my palms over my face.
“Answer me this,” I said, struggling to keep my voice even. Every nerve in my body buzzed, every instinct screaming to grab her and never let go. “Were there threads that gave us a happy ending—but you cut them because someone else lost theirs?”
Her lips parted, surprise flashing in her eyes as her spine straightened. I let out a hollow, humorless laugh.
“And what about their choices, Ally? You really think anyone we love—anyone in the hierarchy—wouldn’t honor you the way you’re trying to honor them?”
“It’s not the same.”
“How!?” I snapped. “A life for a life. The only difference is you got to watch the options—and now you’re choosing for them.”
“I could never—”
“And you think Aren could?” I cut in, her flinch like a physical blow. “He’s on there, isn’t he? That death toll you’re so obsessed with avoiding while you happily toss mine on the pile.”
“It’s not the same,” she whispered, the color draining from her cheeks.
“Because you’re somehow not as valuable?” My voice cracked with frustration. “I think I can speak for the coven when I say: bullshit. Lana and Ansel would’ve thrown themselves to the wolves for you on that field—not just because they fucking love you, but because you’re the bulwark between our people and annihilation. Alec would throttle you just for suggesting otherwise.”
“Stop,” she ordered, voice sharp with command.
“I’m just getting started.” I stepped closer. “Right now, it’s just you and me, baby. You might be our Second, but right now, you’re my mate. And for all the love you give our people, they love you back just as fiercely. You’ve spent your whole life protecting them—but when it matters most, you won’t give them the dignity of choosing for themselves.”
“I couldn’t live with myself—”
“So dying is the easy way out?” I cut in, hard.
“Cheap shot.”
“Am I wrong?” I challenged. “Prove me wrong, Ally. What future scares you more?” I gripped her shoulders, trying to break through. “The one where someone loves you enough to choose your life over theirs? Or the one where you rob us of the masterpiece our maker crafted for us? Where’s my choice, Ally? Where are our threads? What happens to the hierarchy without you watching their backs?”
“I can’t see past the point of our deaths.”
I froze. Every muscle locked, vibrating with the urge to explode.
“So…what you’re saying is, you don’t even know if it works.”
“What? No, I—”
“You can’t see past the point where we die. So, you have no idea if it even works.”
“The best odds—”
“Fucking hell,” I muttered, fingers raking through my hair hard enough to sting. “You’re so busy sacrificing everything for everyone else that you haven’t even considered this might all be for nothing.”
“The others will finish it.”
Shaking my head, I dragged a hand across my jaw, pacing in a tight circle. “No.”
“There’s more, August. And you have to promise me you’ll make it count. My price goes beyond my life…”
The image she failed to block out of her mind hit me like a gut punch. Bile surged. My hands clenched into fists, one swiping hard across my mouth.
