Page 57 of Double or Nothing

Alice breaks down at that, and fuck my fucking life, winning a game of Cluedo has never been so bitter sweet.

My hands betray me. I put my mug down and reach out for her. She takes up the offer of comfort and throws herself into my arms, sobbing into my chest as I squeeze her.

I’ve never been in this position in my life. Not without an ulterior motive.

I don’t even have a hard-on, fuck sake.

I stroke Alice’s hair and tell her it’s ok, and hold her like the Soul Girl she is, whose broken heart is spilling tears down her cheeks like rivers.

“It won’t be ok,” she says. “It could never be ok. Not in a million years. Because you’re right. Even if I said I was sorry. Even if I told him I loved him, and I meant it…”

“He’d be too shit scared of your father to follow it through.”

She nods against my chest.

Hats off to Bryce. He really did step out of his comfort zone last night.

I let Alice cry for a while. I wait until her breaths slow down and her body relaxes against mine, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what the fuck I’m doing digging around in this shitshow.

I should get out. Quick.

I should call the game a win. Another round of Jack knows it all. But I can’t. I have a pang in my cold, callous heart for Alice, and a pang in my cold, callous heart for Bryce, too.

“He’ll be back,” I tell her. “I never lose a bet.”

She hugs me tighter. Her breaths hitching.

“I hope so,” she says.

And I pray to God I’m right this time. It’s one bet I really don’t want to lose.

CHAPTER SIXTEEN

BRYCE

My head is still thumping as I give the bathroom another onceover at midday. I was throwing up so bad earlier it was like a scene from The Exorcist.

Apt, since it feels like I was possessed last night. The deadly demon of the forbidden coaxing me through the thrill, the De Chante, and Jack’s irresistible charm. He’s the devil in all this. His energy set mine alight, blind to everything else.

Everything sane.

Now, here I am. Back in my empty apartment with my laptop ready for regular action, sickness or not. I have more reports to get ready before tomorrow morning.

I try to bury myself in the figures and then scan through the stream of regular emails hitting my inbox. My foot taps under my desk as I attempt to focus on the screen, but the calculations can’t hold my attention. Flashbacks of Alice’s gorgeous body keep coming back to me. The way she arched herself and begged for more, just as I’d always dreamt of. How she opened herself up and invited me in. Us in. The way she needed it, craved it, admitted it. The way her spirit was so unbridled, just like mine was.

Jack has her nailed with the name Soul Girl. Her soul is a beautiful wonder. Just dirtier than I’d ever imagined.

Even hotter than my wildest fantasies.

Christ, I have to stop this.

I grab another coffee from the kitchen, despising the way my hands are trembling. The waves of fear are so alive they shorten my breaths, making me dizzy.

More emails, more attempts at presentation mockups, and another round of painkillers, my foot tap, tap, tapping all the while.

I hate myself for being so reckless, but even more than that, I hate myself for hating myself for being so reckless. It’s a twist of ugly vines, weaving in my guts. I try and try again to blank out and sink into the mundane, but it’s a losing battle. One I can’t win.

I try TV, but it does nothing. I try doom scrolling, but it can’t even hold my attention for seven seconds straight. I attempt a nap on the sofa, but can’t get comfortable. I check out the fridge, but the idea of eating anything makes me want to vomit all over again.