Page 99 of My Big Fat Shifter Wedding

He was too forgiving, far too forgiving, but that wasn’t anything new. So I didn’t argue with him. Instead, I soaked in the comfort that radiated from him.

Because it was going to be the last time I was going to feel it.

“Olivia?” he asked, after we stood there for what had to be a handful of minutes. “I know there’s probably a lot going on in your head right now, but can you please confirm to me that you are okay?”

No, I was far from okay. And if I was being honest with myself, I didn’t know if I would ever be okay again. I’d found the man I truly believed was the love of my life, who saw me as no one else did and helped me to see myself in a better light too. Who filled my days with brightness and laughter, taught me things I never would have thought about before, and introduced me to all sorts of different hole-in-the-wall places I never would have visited with my family.

And I was going to have to let him go.

“I think we should break up,” I said, and holy fuck, the words felt like literal acid pouring down my throat. I nearly choked on the flavor of them, acrid and full of decay, bitter right down to my soul.

Keith didn’t let me go, but he took a step back and held me at arm’s length, studying my face. I couldn’t bring myself to meet his gaze, because I couldn’t imagine the hurt and betrayal written across his features.

Because, to him, it probably seemed like his perfectly happy relationship was crumbling because he was the victim of a prank. But the reality was that I was a predator, as were my people, and he had become so very close to being our prey that I couldn’t ignore the voice in my head that had been shouting he was in danger just because he knew me.

He deserved the truth. It was the least I could do, but since I couldn’t tell him the truth, then he deserved to be free.

“Olivia, why don’t we talk about this when our emotions are a little less fraught? I can tell you’re in your head right now, and I⁠—”

“I don’t need to think about it,” I said firmly, and honestly, I was amazed at the steel I was able to put in my voice. I wanted to scream. I wanted to wail. I wanted to bash my head against the wall in shame but also beg him to never leave me. To never cut me off from the love and warmth that had made life an adventure worth exploring rather than a tedium I tried to get through. “Today showed me that even if we really want this to work, we’re incompatible. The best thing to do would be to end things now. A clean break. I’ll refund you any fees we get for canceling the caterer and the florist.”

A bitter laugh tried to rise up in me at the thought that at least I hadn’t bought the dress yet, but I cut it off. Not even dry humor or self-deprecating jibes would soften the sword I was plunging through my own chest.

“Olivia…”

“Don’t Olivia me, please,” I said, gently breaking out of his hold and taking several steps back. Somehow, each movement felt like another blade raining down from the heavens to spike right through me.

I was never going to be happy again. Not only because I was losing the most amazing man I’d ever met, but also because I was hurting him so badly. Even without looking at his face, I could scent his heartbreak filling the air around us. It was a mix of brimstone and acrid sulfur, the hot sting of shock combined with the sour stink of sorrow.

“There are things you don’t understand. I’m sorry, but I think this was the reality check we both needed.”

I knew I was likely going to end up at Amanda’s, sobbing uncontrollably into her satin pillowcases and unable to speak, but somehow, I was managing to hold my tears at bay and keep my voice steady.

God, I sounded so fucking cruel. I hated it. I hated it so much! But it was the right thing to do.

If it’s the right thing to do, then why does it hurt so badly?

“Olivia, where is this coming from? What do you mean I don’t understand? Nobody in this entire world gets me more than you do, not even my own mother. You’ve always told me it’s the same for you. We’re two sides of the same coin, and we bring out the best in each other! I understand that you’re scared right now, and that you feel responsible for introducing me to the people who hurt me, but again, I am fine, and it’s not your fault!”

We were just going to go in circles. And as much as I wanted to stay rotating around the same points over and over again so I could remain in his presence, I needed to end things and get out before I lost my resolve. Because, in truth, all I wanted to do was throw myself back into his arms, kiss him silly all over his face, and then tuck him into bed with a nice cup of tea so he could relax while I did chores around the house.

“It’s not going to work, Keith. It was nice to get lost in the fantasy, and I apologize for letting myself get carried away. I shouldn’t have, and it was wrong of me. But we’re from two different worlds. There’s too much dividing us, and it’s only going to get worse if we walk down that aisle.”

What if we had kids? Keith and I had talked about being open to adopting or having biological ones, as it was normal for shifters to have what humans would call geriatric pregnancies, but I couldn’t exactly explain that to him. And what about when they got their first shift? Or even the time leading up to that which was often full of random aggression, spurts of body hair, aching teeth, and the desire for raw meat?

I was a fool. A fool who had been in denial for far too long, and now Keith was suffering because of it.

It wasn’t fair!

Why did the perfect soulmate for me have to be a human, and the perfect soulmate for him have to be a shifter? It all could have been so easy if things were a little different.

“Different worlds?” he repeated, and though his volume was rising and his tone was urgent, there was still no anger in his voice. No frustration. He was too kind. He should have been screaming at me. Cursing me out. But no, he was trying to find reason. Trying to make sure I was okay.

I didn’t deserve him.

“Olivia, I don’t want to belittle how you feel, and if you’re genuinely not in love with me anymore, or even if you wanna postpone the wedding because you think we’re moving too fast, I’m on board. The only thing that’s important to me is you!”

“Keith! My family put your life at risk, and I can’t guarantee that they won’t again! You don’t get it, but please, believe me when I say that this is the best for the both of us. There are too many differences. There’s this chasm between us that I thought we could bridge, but it’s not going to happen!”