Page 1 of Jade

Chapter One

Jade

She sat in the dimly lit chapel, shifting in her seat. Her diaper was itchy against her skin, and she was hot. It was only March in Vegas but it was already starting to heat up. Soon it would be sweltering, and wearing a diaper would be even more miserable.

Tears pricked her eyes as she remembered her House Daddy Baze putting it on her this morning. He’d been so kind and patient, and she loved the feeling of being taken care of, but she was beginning to feel a truth she could no longer ignore.

After years of being homeless and hopeless on the streets of Las Vegas, Jade and her friends had been taken in by a sweet, widowed billionaire hotel mogul who put them up in the penthouse suite of his newly-acquired Las Vegas resort and taken them in as Littles after falling hard for Jade’s friend, Luna, who was 100% Little and thriving under her new Daddy’s care. They all were. Baze made sure all their needs were met, from the physical to the emotional. He gave them so much more than a home. He’d also taken care of Jade’s hair and gotten Jilly into therapy to work through her PTSD.

She owed Baze everything. He’d done so much for her, she figured she’d happily spend her life trying to repay the favor. But she was tired of living a lie. Jade had tried, she really had. But the thought had always been in the back of her mind and now she knew it for sure. She was not a Little. Not the way her friends were. She didn’t want a pacifier and a bed full of stuffies and she hated wearing a diaper.

She did it because she wanted to fit in and she didn’t want to hurt Baze. But the nagging feeling in the back of her mind had gotten overwhelming. And now that her roomie, Mariah, had moved out and gotten married to a Daddy of her own, leaving Jade with a room to herself, the feeling had gotten stronger and harder to ignore. Jade was, if anything, a Middle. She spent her days doing puzzles and taking naps and playing dolls with her friends, but she longed to read chapter books, blast music, and play video games. She wanted to play with different hairstyles and experiment with makeup. And like the rest of her friends, she wanted to find a Daddy of her own. The right Daddy. The very perfect Daddy for her. Just like Luna had found Baze, Margo had found Knox, and Mariah had found Graham. And she knew without a doubt, at the very center of her being, that she wouldn’t find that if she wasn’t being her authentic self. How could she find her Daddy if she was a Middle in Littles clothing?

She’d been trying to get up the nerve to talk to Baze for weeks now. She knew she had to do it, just like Mariah’d had to tell Baze she wanted to work, Jade needed to tell him she didn’t want to be a little Little any longer.

“Jade, are you okay, darling?” Pastor Ryan, newly hired by Baze to perform weddings and host optional Sunday services for anyone who wanted to attend, tapped her on the shoulder.

Blushing, she turned toward him, rushing to stand like her presence in the chapel was a bother to him, even though she knew it wasn’t.

Jade had been coming in here to think or just to have a few moments to herself since construction had finished on the chapel before Christmas. It was only in the past few weeks that she’d begun to run into Pastor Ryan.

Pastor Ryan made her blush. He made her diaper get a different kind of sticky and he made her face heat with shame. He was older, with the start of salt and pepper flakes on the sides of his chestnut hair. His frame was lean and muscular like he worked out every day and he always smelled like a mixture of mint and fresh-cut pine. He was exactly the kind of man a girl could have Daddy fantasies about. Since his arrival, Jade had done her best to avoid him, only coming to the chapel when she thought he wouldn’t be there.

Because as hot as he was, and even as progressive, Pastor Ryan was a man of God, and whatever he was doing here at Utopia, Jade was sure he wasn’t interested in having a Little, or a Middle, or whatever she was. Jade didn’t know much, but she knew one thing for certain: Men of God were not Daddies.

“I’m sorry, Pastor Ryan. I was just leaving.”

“Don’t rush on my account, Jade. The house of God doesn’t have a time limit.”

Barely holding back an eye roll, Jade nodded. “I know, sir. But I just came here to think. And now I’m done thinking. I know what I need to do, even if I don’t want to do it.”

As if her nonsensical rambling made perfect sense, Pastor Ryan nodded sagely. “Good luck, my child. God be with you.”

With no idea what to say to that, Jade nodded, mumbled a word of thanks in his direction and rushed out of the chapel toward Baze’s office.

Baze looked up at her in surprise when the door to his office pushed open. “Jade!” he exclaimed, greeting her warmly. “Is everything okay? Did you need anything?” He waved her out of the doorway and she shuffled across the room, her stupid diaper crinkling with every step. She stopped when she got to his desk and sat in the chair he kept for guests.

“I need to talk to you about something, Mister Daddy,” she mumbled, using his preferred title so as to not get off on the wrong foot straight out of the gate.

“I gathered that,” Baze answered her with a chuckle. “What is it?”

She pursed her lips and hemmed and hawed looking for the right words to start the conversation.

“C’mon, it’s okay. Whatever it is, you can tell me. I don’t bite.” He paused and furrowed his brow. “Unless you’re here to make a confession, and then I might. Is that what it is? Have you been naughty, little Jade?”

The use of the term Little irked her, and she instantly wanted to go on the defensive, but somehow she managed to maintain her cool. “The thing is, Mister Daddy, I do have something to confess. But it’s not a naughtie. I’ve been good, promise.”

“Oh?” His eyebrow shot up and he leaned forward with surprised interest. “I’m listening, then. Do tell.”

“Well, see, the thing is,” Jade scratched her nails absently against the surface of his desk, then stopped abruptly when she realized what she was doing. “I think I’m a Middle, not a Little!” The words came out rushed together in a single exhaled breath that she sucked in and held as soon as she was done talking.

Baze reacted with obvious surprise. His eyebrows shot to his hairline and his mouth dropped open. He rested his chin on his fist and stared at her in thoughtful shock. “I see,” he said when he finally spoke. “And how long have you felt this way?”

All it took was that one simple question for every single fear and thought she’d been holding in to come rushing out like a tsunami. “I hate wearing diapers. I love listening to music. Like grown-up music, not kid stuff. I miss playing video games. I hate dolls. I’d rather babysit the other girls than shenanigate with them. I want a Daddy of my very own who’s perfect for me, and I don’t think I’ll ever find him if I’m not being my true self ‘cuz I need to find a Daddy who wants a Middle like me, not a Little. And… I really hate diapers!”

“Yes, you mentioned that. Twice,” Baze told her in a bemused tone when she finally stopped speaking. “Jade, I want you to listen to me very carefully. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Jade whispered, already panicking. He was going to tell her she either needed to conform or get out. She just knew it. And then she’d be back on the streets, where she wouldn’t get to be a Middle or a Little. Why, oh why didn’t she just keep her stupid mouth shut? Why couldn’t she have just been thankful for what she had and for everything he’d done for her?