Page 13 of Jade

Again, she couldn’t respond for fear of the soap slipping so she nodded.

“Little girls, whether they are two or four or eleven, should not be cursing,” he lectured firmly. Before she could even nod, he looked down at his watch and nodded. “Okay, two minutes. Open please.”

She couldn’t release the soap fast enough. He caught it before it fell to the floor and set it on the soap dish. “You can use this to wash your hands now, and hopefully it will be an ever-present reminder of what happens when Little girls use naughty words.”

Her eyes widened. That was a move outside of anything Baze would have come up with. It wasn’t cruel or sadistic, but it was definitely a mindfuck and now that he’d put the idea in her head, she knew she’d remember this punishment every time she washed her hands from here to eternity.

“Rinse.” He filled a plastic cup with water and held it up to her lips. Taking it from him, she filled her mouth and swished it around, spit, and filled the cup to repeat the process.

Ryan’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “Only one more rinse so make it a good one.”

She gasped, took in as much water as she could and swished it all around until the soap taste filled her mouth. She spit with gusto, spitting not just the water but every remnant of the soapy film she could possibly expel.

When she was done, she could still taste a hint of it on her teeth and in the back of her mouth.

“Good girl,” Pastor Ryan praised, taking her hands in his. “Your punishment is over, and you are forgiven.”

To her absolute horror, she burst into tears. For some reason the absolution overwhelmed her and her choices hit her more than they had when she was over his knee.

“I’m not!” she cried, leaning against his chest. “I’m not a good girl. I was a bad, bad girl. I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me! I’m not usually like that. I follow the rules. I don’t make trouble just for the sake of making it. Not on my own anyway. But today, I did. And I hurt you and I’m so sorry. I’m a bad girl and you wouldn’t want someone like me, even if you are a Daddy. And I liked you, and I’m stupid and I messed everything up.”

The entirety of the last hour, the shame and humiliation of the punishment and the sorrow from her actions overwhelmed her and she sobbed into his chest.

She waited, hoping, praying, that he would somehow magically know just the right thing to say, but he said nothing. And she just kept crying.

Ryan

He had not been expecting that. Everything had been going so well, and he’d been feeling so confident, ready to put the whole thing behind them. He planned to hug her and hold her and maybe tuck her into bed for a nap, and then talk to Baze about his feelings and where to go from here.

But her outburst caught him by surprise and her words broke his heart. He was speechless as he held her, patting her back awkwardly. She kept crying harder and harder by the minute, and he didn’t know what to do.

Clueless, he looked over the top of her head to Baze, who was still standing in the doorway with an alarmed expression on his face.

“Help,” Ryan mouthed.

Baze jumped into action. Pastor Ryan could only watch as he took Jade by the shoulders and turned her to him.

“Jade, little one. You listen to me. You are not a bad girl. You made some poor choices and tested some boundaries. It’s normal behavior. Did you think you would just shake your whole life upside down, and not feel untethered by the change?”

Jade looked up and sniffled. “But I wanted to be eleven!” she cried. “And you did so much for me again! I should be thankful and happy and not naughty. I don’t know what I was thinking!”

Baze heaved a sigh that came out with a chuckle on the tail end. “Change, even change we want, is hard and scary. It’s normal and healthy to push the envelope and test boundaries. Nobody thinks you are a bad girl. I certainly don’t.” Baze cleared his throat and shot Ryan a look.

“I don’t either,” Ryan rushed to reassure her. “I can’t pretend to imagine what you are going through, changing your whole life like that, but I think what Baze is saying is correct. In a new situation, it’s human nature to test the boundaries, just to see where they are. And today, you found out, didn’t you?”

Turning from Baze, she looked up at him and nodded solemnly. “Yes, Sir, and I am sorry. Thank you for punishing me.”

She paused and he could tell she wanted to say more.

“What is it, little one?”

“Well…” she looked down at the floor. “Do you… do you want to be my Daddy?”

Ryan gasped. He wanted to, but he knew he couldn’t possibly say yes. He hadn’t expected to be put on the spot so quickly.

“I… um… let’s get out of the bathroom. Can we sit on your bed and talk about this?”

Baze shot him a look and he gulped but led Jade to her bed and sat on it with her, holding her hand.