Page 16 of How To Not Need You

"But it still hurt you."

"It did."

Harper gave me a knowing look. "Do you think it'll always hurt?"

I looked around the café. At Leo proudly showing Grace his painting. At Maisie trying to convince Milo that glitter belonged in paint. I smiled despite myself.

"No."

Harper noticed. "You smiled."

"I always smile."

Luca barked out a laugh from across the room. "Liar."

I rolled my eyes. Maybe they have a point, but I refuse to admit it.

With my emotional purging done everyone seems to refocus on the cheese. By the time we had emptied a few bottles of wine and Adrian finally arrived and ate enough to be in a food coma, the children had officially reached the point where they'd stopped painting the paper and started painting each other. Honestly, it had lasted longer than I'd expected. Maisie proudly held up two blue hands.

"I made gloves!"

"You absolutely did," Elsie sighed, already reaching for another packet of baby wipes.

Across the table Noah was demolishing the remnants of the cheese board. "Is there any brie left?"

"There was," I said.

He looks down at the wedge in his hand. He merely shrugs and eats the wedge. Luca pointed his wine glass at him.

"You know sharing is a thing."

"I am sharing."

"With yourself."

"I like myself."

Alexander laughed at their silly banter. "I can't really argue with that."

Grace let out a little squeal from Harper's lap, waving one chubby fist in the air while Leo proudly showed her what appeared to be a completely blue piece of paper.

"It's a dinosaur," he explained.

"I thought it was the ocean," Harper admitted.

"It can be both," Leo said confidently. I liked kids. I really did. I just also liked handing them back to their parents afterwards. The conversation drifted around the table, jumping from the wedding to work, then somehow onto whether fairy lights should stay up for the rest of the year.

"They're festive," Alexander argued.

"They're cosy," Luca corrected.

"They're a fire hazard," Noah added.

"They're staying," I said with the utmost conviction.

"See?" Luca grinned. "Liv gets me."

"I said they're staying."