Page 12 of Against All Odds

“Raya?”

Rebekah’s soft voice startled me. I almost dropped my plate as my head snapped up to see her standing in the doorway.

“Hi?” My breath hitched. Surely, I looked like a mess. One of the worst things about having complicated feelings for your roommate is extreme self-consciousness about your looks – especially when she always looks put together. Even when dressed in a flannel robe, her gorgeous long blonde hair untamed, and dark circles under her eyes from the mascara she hadn’t bothered to wipe off, she still looked better than I did on my best days.

I swallowed the lump in my throat, avoiding her pointed stare. I couldn’t place her expression. Was she angry with me? Hurt, disappointed?

“Can we talk?” she said after a hesitation.

I nodded, moving to the far end of the couch to make space for her. I hoped I didn’t smell as terrible as I thought – of course, I had not bothered to shower last night or this morning.

She sat down at the far end of the couch. Hugging my knees to my chest, I turned to face her.

Rebekah glanced up at me, and the soft sunlight gleamed on her blonde locks. “Do you remember what you did last night?”

I swallowed hard. It was not the first time my roommates had asked me this question after a night out. I had lost count of how often the three of them had scolded me for actions I hardly remembered – although throwing a cocktail at the wall in the club topped all my other nights so far.

“I remember flashes,” I mumbled, staring down at my chipped nails.

“You threw a glass at Parker and me, out of nowhere.” She shook her head, her blonde waves dancing. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”

I flinched at her sharp voice. “Not at you,” I protested weakly. “At the wall.”

“Yes, it hit the wall behind us because you were too drunk to aim properly, but the implication was clear.” She scoffed; my reaction only seemed to fuel her irritation. “Do you have any idea how threatening that is? Parker…” Her face contorted, momentarily unable to contain her disgust. “Parker actually peed his pants.”

“He did what?!” I pressed my lips tightly together, trying my hardest not to laugh at the thought of the guy, who was unironically considered the alpha male of his friends, peeing his damn pants. “Really?”

“It’s not fucking funny, Raya.” Her glare turned scorching. My grin faltered. “Why did you do that?”

I frowned. “Is that a serious question?”

“Yes?” Her brow furrowed.

“Because you used me for a free drink.” The moment I spoke the words, doubt crept in. I had been so sure of myself last night, but now that most of the coke and alcohol had left my system, I wasn’t anymore.

My nausea increased at the utter confusion on her face. “Sorry, what?”

“You asked me to pay for your drink, and then you walked off to kiss that—to kiss Parker.” To my distaste, my conviction sounded weaker with each word. “Didn’t you?”

“Raya, I asked you to get that round because I got the previous one,” she said slowly. I felt myself shrink under her gaze – as if she wasn’t sure whether to hate me or pity me. “Don’t you remember?”

I breathed out slowly in the silence that stretched. I searched her face for any sign of manipulation, but she seemed genuinely lost.

“No,” I said, barely audible. “I don’t remember.”

“You can ask Emmy or Tracy.” She folded her arms, her irritation returning. “Seriously, what the fuck is the matter with you lately?”

I refused to meet her eyes, shame heating my cheeks as the reality of it all dawned on me. I didn’t need to ask Emmy or Tracy, because I already knew she was right, even if I didn’t remember it. The four of us usually did take turns paying. Of course, she hadn’t used me for a free drink – that would imply she sensed there was something more between us, too.

And now, I’d allowed my paranoia, heightened by alcohol- and drug-induced psychosis, to cloud my judgment and ruin everything. How could I have been so stupid?!

When I said nothing, her next question shattered the ground beneath me. “Are you in love with me or something?”

My head snapped up to stare at her, eyes wide. “Who told you that?” Had Kyle ratted me out?

“No one.” She frowned. “I’m just wondering.”

I stared at her until she averted her eyes. For a moment, I considered telling her the truth. She might be disgusted or weirded out, but at least she and my other roommates might be more likely to forgive me. Maybe things would get less tense if the cat was out of the bag.