Page 67 of How to Kill Your Rival

For more. What exactly remains unquantified; even so, it’s progress. I’ll take it.

‘She was jealous,’ I tell Coffin. ‘And she told a family friend I belonged to her. It’s the first step towards us being together.’

Coffin shifts and hops up to the bed and settles down on my chest. A new familiarity for us. Perhaps Eliza’s change in attitude towards me means I’m finally his, too.

Or maybe he’s eyeing up my eyeballs for a quick breakfast snack.

I take my chances.

‘I know it’s not the declaration. I don’t know if Eliza will ever give me those three little words. But it’s not nothing.’

Coffin makes a low keening noise.

‘Exactly,’ I say. ‘We take what we can with Eliza. Even crumbs from her are better than a buffet elsewhere.’

He ruffles up his chest feathers, and I reach out to gently stroke him.

‘Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for something like this?’

For what feels like a lifetime, if I’m honest. God, I’ve been in love with her for as long as I can remember. From afar. Even through my other dating adventures, there was always this shadow of her.

The bird pecks at my dad’s old ring on my littlest finger, his appreciation for the shiny things in full flow.

‘And now I’m hers. And she’s mine.’

My heart thumps hard behind my ribs as I let joy sweep through me. My girl. At last. Fuck, I want to scream it from the rooftops.

‘Do you think she’ll marry me?’ I ask Coffin. ‘I know it’s a bit of a sticky situation with the parents already having taken the leap, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility, right?’

That beady eye watches me, and I wonder if I’ve lost my mind unloading my feelings onto a crow. But it’s him or the pigs, and I’m pretty sure they are Eliza’s confidantes.

‘There’ve been signs of the cracks in her walls for a while. Softenings. Hell, she covered me in a blanket once when I fell asleep on a sofa after too much wine at a Hamilton party. She doesn’t know that I know she did it. But there’s a sweet side beneath the hard edges of Eliza. Usually reserved for her family alone.’

Coffin hops off me and starts rifling through the handful of coins on my bedside table. Payment for his therapeutic services, I suppose. Rolling onto my side, I watch him pick up and discard several options.

‘Maybe she’s finally seeing me as a part of the family. Not in a step-brother way, but as a core part of her family.’

Coffin selects a very shiny one-pound coin.

‘Last night was the first time she’s chosen me for anything without me practically begging. I hope she hasn’t changed her mind this morning. I hope it wasn’t just the champagne I tasted on her tongue that loosened it.’ I sit up. ‘The first chink in her armour in years, and I intend to burrow into it until I have her whole bloody heart.’

Coffin hops around with his coin.

‘Not in the way you enjoy internal organs… don’t worry.’

He looks away.

Not a denial.

Eliza is probably across the hall, sleeping off last night’s drinks and hopefully not awake, regretting her decisions.

I want to go knock on her door. To crawl between her thighs and beg her to love me forever more. Because there’s no denying that I love her. Woefully, painfully and completely.

But you don’t push Eliza. You wait. Make yourself available. Like I’m the small dish of birdseed, and she’s the Roadrunner. Let’s just hope the Death Council doesn’t prove to be out there as our Wile E. Coyote. Ruining things. They are far less inept than he, unfortunately.

Getting up, I find a loose sweatshirt and some jeans, pulling them on before hunting for my shoes. I find one by the bathroom door, but the other takes me far too long to locate. Under the floor-length curtains that surround the huge bay window. I’m too tired for clothing-related treasure hunts. Catching my reflection in the mirror, I groan. My hair is an absolute shambles. Then I remember Eliza’s hands lost in it in the library and the desperate way she pulled at it. Suddenly, it’s not so bad…

‘Don’t be telling anyone I spoke to you,’ I tell Coffin as I go to the bathroom, wetting my hair down and dragging my fingers through to calm it. The shower will have to wait until after I find something to eat. An evening of nothing but canapés and sex has left me ravenous.