Page 101 of How to Kill Your Rival

Eliza puts it on speaker. It only rings twice before Maggie picks up.

‘Do you have him?’ Maggie asks, her voice almost squeaky with fear. ‘Or is he… you know… God, I can’t say it. What’s going on?’

‘We’ve got him,’ Eliza sighs.

Fraser adds, ‘Just trying to eat my damn burger.’

The sound that comes down the phone is barely human. It sounds like Maggie is having tea with a fucking banshee.

‘He’s alive,’ Maggie screeches, and I hear Roman whoop in the background.

‘I’m fine,’ Fraser says, mouth still full. ‘A bit hungry.’

‘I’m never letting you leave the house again,’ Maggie says.

‘It wasn’t exactly by choice, but I’ve missed you too, Mags.’

‘I have been up for thirty-six hours⁠—’

‘I’ve been tied to a chair for longer, so you know I’ll win the misery battle,’ Fraser says.

‘Anyone injured?’ Maggie asks.

‘James got a boo-boo on his shoulder,’ Fraser says.

‘Fraser!’ Eliza laughs.

‘I’m fine,’ I sigh.

‘Doctor job? I can have one available for when you arrive. You are coming here, right?’ Maggie asks. ‘I’ll have food ready. Proper food, not petrol station⁠—’

There’s a cough in the background.

Not Roman. Different. Older.

‘Maggie,’ says Evan, ‘who are you talking to at this time of the morning?’

Silence on the line. And in the car.

Even Fraser stops eating.

‘Nobody,’ Maggie says utterly unconvincingly.

‘That’s not nobody; that’s your sister’s voice. Eliza?’

Eliza’s jaw tightens. ‘Hi, Dad.’

‘Why are you calling so early? Where are you?’

Eliza glances at me, but I’ve got nothing. ‘On the road.’

‘On the road where? And why did I hear Fraser?’

‘Hi, Dad,’ Fraser says.

Evan is silent for a time. When he speaks again, his words are measured. ‘Where has Fraser been?’

‘Evan,’ Priscilla’s voice joins in. ‘What’s⁠—’