Page 23 of Sinister Secrets
“Were you the one murdering people for their land?”
“No.”
“If you could go back in time, would you turn your back and let them get away with it?”
“Of course not.”
“Then stop being ridiculous, because neither would I. My only regret is losing you to another director.”
A moment of silence stretches between us. I want to tell her that she hasn’t lost me. That she’ll always be an integral part of my life, and a million other mushy sentiments, but I’ve never been good at emotional stuff. It makes me feel too vulnerable, which isn’t something I can handle right now, so I’ll just have to hope that she knows.
Finally, I clear my throat. “So what exactly did you tell Lopez?”
“Simply that you changed your mind about ending your time with the Bureau and he’d be a fool not to snatch you up while he has the chance.”
“By fool, did you mean a person who’d be helping themselves avoid endless headaches and trouble?”
Marla laughs, and the muscles coiled tight beneath my skin relax a fraction of an inch. “You’re worth every ounce of it, Cassidy. I mean it. That’s why I want you to promise me that you’ll be careful.”
“You know I will.”
“And you know that you can still call me anytime for help, or even just a sounding board.”
“I do.”
“Okay. Well, then.” She forces an enthusiasm into her tone that we both know is fake. “I suppose I better let you go. I wouldn’t want to make you late for your first day.”
My throat feels tight as I say, “I appreciate it, Marla. There’s no way to repay everything that you’ve done for me.”
“Sure there is. Stay safe and call me soon.”
I make the promise and then I’m alone once again, just me, my thoughts, and a cup of coffee that’s grown completely undrinkable. I doubt I’d be able to keep it down, even if it was. Now that the call has ended, my nerves are back in full effect.
It’s been a long time since my last first day. I’d been fresh out of grad school, recruited by the Bureau shortly before I had my degree in hand. I was young, energetic, and hopeful. And also very, very naïve. Now, I don’t just have firsthand experience of the things that go bump in the night—I’ve had them brush up against me and leave their mark.
But there’s another difference between me and the idealistic young woman I once was. On my own, 900 miles from the only home I’d ever known and with no emotional connections remaining nearby after graduation, the stakes were entirely different.
If it didn’t work out, my self-respect and confidence might take a hit, but I’d just pick myself up, brush myself off, and move on to something else. That’s no longer an option.
I have roots here. A man I love. An animal sanctuary that’s part of my heart. And everything to lose.
CHAPTER 14
By the time I’ve made the drive to Miami, my entire body is in knots. There’s so much riding on this—my ability to work Gordon’s case. To protect those I hold dear. And maybe even to prove to myself that, despite what happened to me, I’m still capable of performing the duties of a federal law enforcement officer.
Which is why it’s such a shame that as I’m shown into Director Lopez’s office, I take an instant dislike to the man. Or maybe it’s a dislike to the way his mouth curls up at one end as he gives me a once over, his gaze lingering on my shoes.
So I’m wearing combat boots. What about it? Marla never took issue with my choice of footwear. As long as they’re clean and polished, it shouldn’t matter. And yet, I fight the urge to fidget while the man continues taking his time silently judging me.
Finally, he half stands from his chair and holds his hand out to me. “Director in Charge Hector Lopez.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, sir,” I lie.
“Take a seat, Agent Knox.” As soon as I’m settled, he launches in. “DIC Jacobson filled me in on your background. You’ve been with the Bureau fifteen years?”
“Yes, sir.”
“For twelve of those, you led your own department.”
