Page 54 of Ruthless Edge

She studies me for a second. Then she picks her drink back up.

"He reorganizes the kitchen cabinets when he's stressed," she says, "and last week the pantry was organized alphabetically."

I laugh, and it's real.

I let it be enough for tonight.

Chapter Fourteen

Emma

I give myself a few minutes to sit in that chair and feel stupid, and then I get up.

Paige is on the makeshift dance floor in the living room, which is just a cleared stretch of hardwood where someone has pushed the furniture toward the walls. Three of our roommates are with her, the music is good, and I came here to have a night that had nothing to do with Knox Carter or any of the things Knox Carter makes me feel.

I get another cup of jungle juice. I join Paige. She sees my face and opens her arms wide without asking a single question, which is why I love her.

Owen is a good guy, I remind myself, as I find the beat. Owen is stable and clear-eyed and he knows what he wants and he tells me what he wants, which is more than I can say for most people. Knox can spend the rest of his night with Laura or whoever may be up in the rotating cast of girls who have always found their way to his vicinity, and none of it is my problem. I've spent three years making Knox Carter my problem and I'm done.

I'm doing a pretty decent job convincing myself by the time I notice the guy.

He's been nearby for a few songs, just close enough that I clocked him without clocking him, the way you're aware of someone in a room without paying them attention. When I actually look at him, he's already looking at me, and he smiles, which is a decent smile, and I smile back, and after about forty-five seconds of this he walks across the space and leans in close enough to be heard over the music.

"Are you always this good or did you specifically practice for tonight?"

"I specifically practiced for tonight," I say. "Six hours in my living room."

He laughs. "Worth it. I'm Tyler."

"Emma."

"Emma." He says it back like he's trying it out. "Do you want to actually dance, or are you going to keep doing the thing where you pretend you don't know I'm here?"

"I wasn't pretending."

"Sure," he says, and holds out a hand.

He's cute. He's funny. He's harmless in the easy way of someone who is interested but not aggressive about it. I take his hand.

Dancing with Tyler is uncomplicated. He's good at it and doesn't take it seriously and makes me laugh twice in the first few minutes. I'd forgotten that this exists. Just being somewhere with someone that you don’t have complicated feelings for, who doesn't know your freshman year, who is just a person at a party finding you interesting for no loaded reason.

I notice Knox on the fourth song.

I don't mean to. I'm not looking for him. But I glance across the room toward the drink table for no particular reason, and he's there, and he's looking at me.

Looking away, I keep dancing. Tyler says something I laugh at. I think about the fact that Knox is at a party, and that people watch people dance, that's not a big deal.

I glance again a minute later.

Knox is still looking at me. He's got a drink in his hand and Laura is talking to him, I can see her mouth moving, and his body is angled toward them. But his eyes are across the room.

On me.

Three more songs. I check twice more. Both times it’s the same result.

"You keep looking at someone," Tyler says.

"I'm not."