Page 25 of Hash

Hash releases my jaw. My hand reaches up, rubbing it in an effort to take away the throbbing.

“What?” Hash asks, still angry.

I side-eye him, and I pour more champagne into my glass. My appetite is out the window. If I take a bite, I’m afraid it will come back out. Although that might not be a bad thing. He deserves to be puked on with the way he’s acting like I’ve somehow wronged him.

“Spit it out.”

“I don’t like how you’re talking to me right now,” I admit, bracing for what’s coming next.

He shovels a bite of food into his mouth. “It’s the only way you listen to me. Well, not the only way.” Hash winks. “I figured that’s off the table for now, though.”

For now?

Does he think us talking is going to lead to us getting back together?

Because that ship has sailed.

“Even though I don’t agree with your logic, I get what you’re saying. However, that doesn’t explain why you straight-up ignored me when I told you I was pregnant. You didn’t even acknowledge it, Hash.” I wince at the hurt I’m unable to keep out of my voice.

“Because I didn’t get it.”

“What do you mean you didn’t get it? I texted you multiple times and called.”

Hash hesitates before finally answering. “I blocked your number.”

My mouth drops open in shock.

“Seriously? What, are you fifteen? I didn’t deserve to be blocked!” I exclaim, my anger rising again.

“I knew if I didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you,” Hash admits as he leans back in the lounger. “Why didn’t you come by the club and tell me?”

Now I’m looking at him like he’s crazy.

“You mean the club you refused to ever bring me around?” Hash winces; my remark cutting deep. “I took the hint. You weren’t responding, and I assumed you read them all. Besides, I might be a crazy bitch, but I’m not a psycho stalker.”

“Yeah,” Hash mutters.

I don’t know what there is left to say, so I relax back and sip my bubbly. It’s dark out now, making it my favorite time to be out here. Being in a larger city, I’m not lucky enough to see the stars. That’s the only thing that would make my little slice of paradise even better.

“Can I meet him?” Hash asks, breaking the silence that had settled over us.

I forget to breathe.

Rationally, I know he has a right to know his son. However… I don’t think I’m there yet. I’m not trying to be one of those shitty moms that use their kids to manipulate the dad. He just hasn’t been around. Just because he pops up out of nowhere doesn’t give him the right to come in and act like none of this ever happened.

“Aisling?” Hash presses when I don’t respond.

“You can meet him…” I say reluctantly. I hate that I feel like this. It shouldn’t be like this.

“But…” Hash trails off. He moves to the edge of his seat, taking my hand in his.

My attention moves to our interlaced fingers. I’ve missed the feel of his rough skin against mine.

I take a deep breath before laying it all out there. “But I want you to go home and think about this. The only way you’re going to meet him is if you decide you’re in his life for good. I won’t have someone only showing up when they feel like it. He might be young now and not remember, but eventually he will. I won’t have you breaking my baby’s heart like you broke mine.”

“Baby doll,” Hash whispers.

I try to pull my hand away, but he grabs it tighter, his thumb now gently caressing the skin between my thumb and index finger.