Page 21 of Hash
“That he knew about…” I say slowly, unable to keep how annoyed I am out of my tone. “I texted him multiple times and called, and you know what I got? Nothing. Fucking nothing, Frankie. So why now, after all this time, do I owe him anything? Just because he saw us in passing at a festival? The way I see it, I don’t owe that man a goddamn thing.”
“Okay.” Frankie throws her hands up in the air. “I said my piece. I didn’t mean to make you upset. I’m on your side, bitch. Always. I just want you to think about maybe having one more conversation with him, that’s all. At the end of the day, I only care about you and this little guy here.” Frankie tickles Cormac’s stomach, getting a full belly laugh out of him.
“I know you are. I’m sorry for getting bitchy with you. I don’t mean to take it out on you. I think I need more than twenty-four hours to process all of this shit.”
And maybe a bottle of champagne while I’m in a bubble bath.
Frankie gives me a sad smile of understanding. “Get this little guy to bed.” She picks Cormac up and blows a raspberry on his cheek, sending him into another fit of giggles. “And wind down and relax. I’m going to head home. If you need anything, call me.”
“Thanks for this weekend,” I say as I stand up and take Cormac from her. “It was fun, all things considered.”
Frankie grabs her bag and heads to the door before she pauses and turns around. “Think about what I said though, okay?”
“I will,” I say, smiling tightly. “Drive safe.”
I wait until I see her make it to her car before I slam the front door closed, flipping the locks and releasing an exhausted sigh.
Cormac grabs a strand of my hair and starts tugging and giggling. Grabbing his hand, I gently remove my hair from his grasp. “We love Auntie Frankie, but this isn’t her place, is it, little man?” I tell him as I bounce him on my hip. “Let’s get you ready for bed.”
After I’ve given Cormac his bath and read him a book, he passed out almost immediately.
Thank God for that.
I’m too exhausted to shower, so instead I opt for stripping out of my clothes and throwing on a nightie and calling it a day. To be honest, Hash has been mentally exhausting me for over two years now.
One of the hardest things to accept is that no matter how hard you tried with someone, it wasn’t enough, and in the end you were left with crumbs of what you wanted. It’s a different kind of torture when you’ve had that person’s kid and they’re a spitting image of them.
Literally.
I haven’t seen baby pictures of Hash, but I would put money on it that he looks just like Cormac. I try not to be pissed at the fact that I did all the work only for him to look nothing like me.
Just as I get settled in bed, my phone vibrates on the nightstand.
I don’t need to look at the screen to know who it is because it’s about that time.
Hash: All I’m asking for is one conversation. I know you don’t owe me anything, and I don’t deserve it, but I think you want to hear what I have to say. There’s more than just us to think about now.
I throw my phone down on my bed as I pinch the bridge of my nose, inhaling deeply, trying to stop myself from committing a murder. Cormac doesn’t deserve a mom in prison.
Is he fucking kidding me right now?
My phone vibrates again. Picking it up, I look at the screen and see red.
Hash: Don’t cut me out.
Clicking on Hash’s contact name, I hit call.
“Aisling,” Hash’s deep, smooth voice picks up after one ring. He sounds relieved, which is funny considering if he were here, I would shove his phone so far up his ass.
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I hiss, sitting up in bed. I’m too mad to stay lying down. “Just where do you get off?”
“Baby doll, calm down.”
Even with the Botox Frankie talked me into getting in my forehead, I can tell my eyebrows hit my hairline.
“Calm down?! Have you lost your fucking mind?!” I’m on the verge of shouting now. One more stupid sentence out of this man’s mouth and I will be. And then I’ll be even more pissed because I know I’ll wake Cormac up.
“Shhh. Don’t wake up our son. He’s sleeping, yeah?”
