Page 52 of The Bratva’s Monster

I purse my lips. “They wouldn’t talk about it over email, would they? They… they still could have met and talked about things that way.”

“If that were so, the Irkutsks would be much bigger than us by now. We wouldn’t have thrived with a rat in our midst for this long.” He shakes his head again and says, “You should read through these. Seriously.” He closes the screen and opens a new one. “They’re talking about his gambling in this one, for example. Stefan’s trying to get him to get it under control.” He closes that one and opens another. “This one is about a girl that Stefan was interested in. It didn’t work out between them, by the way. And this one…” He opens a new one and sighs. “This one’s about you.”

I blink. “He… talked to him about me?”

Rikki nods. “Never about me, though. Or Alex or Yeva. And we were technically his family.” He glances back at me, but I’m looking at the email on the screen. At the words that Gedeon wrote about me… about a date that we’d gone on.

It was our third or fourth date. We’d gone out to dinner and I wasn’t feeling well, so I just had soup. When we were done, it started to rain and he took off his jacket and covered me with it…

“She’s amazing, Stef,” one line reads. “I’ve never met anybody like her. I think she might be the one…”

My eyes start to burn and I step back, away from the screen, away from Rikki. My stomach twists again and I have to swallow hard to keep myself steady.

“Hey,” Rikki says. “You okay?”

Sobs come up this time instead of bile. I stumble out of the room and to the living room as I completely dissolve into tears. I sit in one of the chairs and wrap my arms around my stomach, holding the last piece of Gedeon that I have.

You stupid son of a bitch. Why did you have to ruin everything…?

“Liz?”

I look up to see Rikki walking toward me. God, what must he think of me?

“What’s going on with you?” he asks as he sits on the coffee table in front of me. He reaches for me, pushing my hair away from my forehead to feel my temperature. I push his hand away.

“I’m, I’m fine.” It’s the least convincing lie I’ve ever uttered. “Please, Rikki.”

He scowls at me. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing. I’m just… It’s really nothing.”

“When I got here, you passed out in my arms. And you threw up some time before that. Now you’re a crying mess. Have you been drinking? Are you hungover or something?”

I turn away from him. “Please,” I say. “Just… just leave me alone, okay?”

“No,” he says. “Not with you like this. Let me put a pot of coffee on for you, get you some water.”

“I’m not drunk,” I say to him. “I haven’t been drinking. I haven’t had a drink in weeks. Goddammit, Rikki. That’s not what’s wrong with me.”

He stares, waiting for me to tell him, and I’m instantly pissed at myself for blurting out that much.

But I kicked open the door and now he’s waiting for me to walk through it.

“I’m pregnant,” I say, and his eyebrows rise. “It’s Gedeon’s.”

He stares at me for the longest time, completely stunned. Finally, he whispers, “What?”

I don’t want to repeat it. This is the first time I’ve even said it out loud since I found out. I’m watching his expression, waiting for him to give me some indication that I’m safe to say it again.

He leans in. “You’re pregnant?”

I nod.

“With Gedeon’s… Fuck.” He stands and takes a few steps away from me and then stops. I can’t look at him. I look down at my hands instead and listen to him breathing. I can’t imagine what must be going through his head.

“Rikki?” He doesn’t move. He doesn’t even speak. “Say something. Please.”

He doesn’t respond and a cold fear runs through me. All I can do is sit here. I pull my feet up onto the couch and hug my knees.