Page 161 of True Blue

I love you.

I love you.

And I wanted to touch him so badly. I wanted to lean down and kiss him, and I almost did. And then everything felt too much and not enough. I didn’t know what I was doing. I didn’t know if Teddy understood either. We had said so much, but it felt like more was needed.

So I told him to leave, and it felt like ripping out my own heart and stomping on it. And while he looked to be in pain from that request, Teddy listened to me.

My colleague, Dr. Brennan, places an iPad on the charger near my computer. He gives a small smile that I return tightly.

Clearing my throat, I shake my head and focus back on charting.

Patient was panicked and tearful when discussing treatment options around daughter’s upcoming wedding; reassurance given that we can work around the date…

My fingers pause again.

Was I too cruel to him?

I think I went too far.

You made your ex-boyfriend crawl like a dog to you.

Do you feel any better?

You’re pathetic Dr. Miller⁠—

“Dr. Miller,” the voice from my left makes me jump, and I turn to see Nurse Mimi standing at the desk. She reminds me a lot of Phoebe in her mannerisms. She’s a chronic oversharer—her words, not mine—and I’ve learned she was born in Philly, takes no shit, and wears a Dallas Sucks badge reel every day.

“Hi, sorry,” I shake my head. “What’s up?”

“Doreen is here—she’s your noon,” she winks. “Watch out, she’s a pistol.”

“Gotcha. Thank you,” I return her smile and push back from the desk, logging off. She frowns and studies me as I stand.

“You alright, kiddo?”

“Yeah,” I nod, trying to school my face. “Just… long week, you know?”

Because I sure as hell am not going to tell her what’s actually on my mind.

“I hear that,” she snorts, shaking her head. “Let me know if you need a boost; I can send Tony out to get some Red Bulls at Wawa. God knows he’s itching for anything to do. Now, go see Doreen before she starts yelling the house down.”

“Thanks, Mimi.”

“Hey,” Mimi says, causing me to turn back to her. She grins. “You’re doing great so far. Everyone thinks so.”

I blink, glancing around and waiting for the punchline.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” she drawls, smirking. “Trust me, we’ve had some growing pains here with new docs that think they’re hot shit. You’re not that. We’re very lucky to have you, Dr. Miller.”

The words settle me, and I feel my shoulders drop. I sigh in relief. “Thank you.”

She winks before heading over to the infusion area to check on her patients. Still smiling, I head down to one of the exam rooms and enter to see Doreen Dalton sitting on the exam bed. She’s an older woman with salt-and-pepper hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing an Eagles sweatshirt.

“Well, look at you—fresh meat.”

“I’m Dr. Miller.” I smile, close the door, and feel myself melt into my element. “It’s nice to meet you.”