Page 144 of True Blue

“—I belonged to my sweet,” he says, stepping down from the chair, “beautiful,” he kneels in front of Petra, “magnificent,” he takes both of her hands in his and places kisses on the backs of them, “Petra.”

They smile at each other, eyes so full of love it’s almost overstimulating to see, so I turn my head to give them some privacy.

Teddy and Demetri would have gotten along like a house on fire, both having the same lovable personalities.

And I think that’s what’s tangling me up because the Teddy I fell in love with is the one who followed me to London to give me his Pop’s ring. Who bought me every meal and organized exclusive tickets to sights I desperately wanted to see. Who left me beautiful drawings that made me cry, that are safely tucked away in my suitcase.

The Teddy I fell in love with respected my boundaries all through this trip. He actively made this trip better for me, and helped me realize that my control freak tendencies were inhibiting my enjoyment. Teddy was the balance I needed, taking some things off my plate so that I could just breathe. I forgot about that being the best part of a true relationship.

Partnership.

This trip healed me. Not completely, but I feel so much better than I did all those months ago. Less stressed, less like I’m a rubber band pulled past the point of tension, and one wrong move or word is going to make me snap completely.

It’s bittersweet, this being my last night in Santorini.

We’re at Demetri’s family’s restaurant, called Ariadne’s, named after his great-grandmother, who taught the family all her famous recipes. It’s quite popular with tourists for its food and rooftop lounge, which offers a perfect sea view, but tonight they closed it to the public.

A goodbye dinner for me.

Petra had been so excited as the day of my arrival in Santorini approached and had offered to pick me up at the airport. She also offered to let me stay with her in her family’s home instead of a hotel, but I—very respectfully—declined. I prefer to go back to a hotel and have some peace and quiet, and from what Petra has said, her family is… not.

“We’re Greek,” she shrugged as an explanation for the volume. “We know many things—quiet is not one of them.”

I’m quite sure that I met the entirety of Petra’s family my first night here, who swallowed me up into hugs and treated me like I was a longtime friend. Petra didn’t even blink when I told her I felt a little overwhelmed and brought me up to her old bedroom to decompress.

“They’re wonderful.”

“They’re loud and obnoxious!” Petra laughed, flopping back on her bed. “But they’re family, you know?”

“Not really,” I admitted, and Petra tilted her head at me.

Her eyes grew softer and softer as I explained my parents, my emancipation, and myself putting myself through undergrad and med school. Working three jobs at one time, flipping burgers and scrubbing toilets to pay the bills.

“I thought Teddy was my family,” I admitted, my throat tight. “I thought you made your own family. I thought that was possible for me.”

“It is,” Petra said, pulling me in for a long hug. “Teddy is not the end-all, be-all.”

My lip wobbled, and the words came out barely above a whisper.

“I really wanted him to be, though.”

“I understand,” Petra nodded before pulling back to look me right in my eyes. She smiled. “My γιαγιά always told me this—there is no harm that does not offer something good.”

And just like that, those words settle into my chest. It’s the same thoughts I had myself, but hearing it from Petra, who heard it from her wise grandmother, feels like validation.

This breakup was necessary for me. I feel like I’ve grown so much in the last month, into something better than I was. Stronger in so many ways, but also… softer.

More open to experiences and friendships. Not doubting myself that people are going to not like me from the jump, slamming those doors shut before they even had the opportunity to open fully.

It’s amazing the perspective you gain with a little distance, with stepping out of your comfort zone. I was nervous about this trip, but determined to do it. And then, when Teddy had agreed to come with me, it felt like training wheels. I would have someone there with me to eat meals with, to see the sights with, and to talk to.

I had been fine on my own for so long, but Teddy gave me a taste of family and then yanked it away from me. Maybe that was necessary. There those maybes go again, but… maybe I like maybes now.

Maybe things don’t have to be this or that.

They can just be.

I can just be.