Page 118 of True Blue

“Why would she leave me this?” she whispers, eyes shimmering.

“Because it was precious to her,” I tell her softly, and her eyes meet mine and feel like a punch. “And so were you.”

Her face collapses, and she gently touches the gold with her other hand. My hand reaches up to press against the chain under my shirt, the matching object that hangs from it right over my heart.

“She wanted me to have this?”

I nod, handing her the manila envelope that she takes after a moment of hesitation.

“She wrote you a letter, too. And there’s some paperwork in there of what else she left you.”

Indie looks overwhelmed, squeezing her eyes shut and breathing deeply. I ache to pull her into my arms, pressing around her like she used to ask me to do when she became overstimulated. Sometimes she needed compression, and she said my scent, my warmth, was better than anything.

“You could have just called—” she cuts herself off, and I flinch slightly. She blocked my number. “You could have told the lawyer to call me.”

“I needed to deliver that in person,” I nod toward the ring on her thumb, “Nana wanted me to personally give it to you.”

Her mouth quirks up at the mention of Nana. She lifts her hand and presses the ring on her thumb to her mouth, “Yeah, I wouldn’t trust something like this in the mail.”

“The lawyer's card is in the envelope. You’ll just need to call him to get everything set up for you.”

She nods, looking everywhere but me. “And you’re staying in Europe?”

I shift from foot to foot, shoving my hands in the pockets of my jeans so I don’t reach out and do something stupid like pull her into my arms.

“Yeah, I… figured since I’m here…”

Her eyes snap to mine.

“This better not be some elaborate plan to try to win me back, Teddy. That ship has sailed.”

Panic swells inside of me, but I clamp it down. Hard. It’s not about me.

“It’s not! I mean, I don’t—” I drag a hand over my face. “God, no, that sounds wrong. Of course, I want you back. I want you so bad it hurts. But I’m not here to corner you into anything. I’m not here to beg for forgiveness I haven’t earned.”

She doesn’t say anything, just watches me.

Honesty. Patience. Vulnerability.

“I… I wouldn’t wish me on anyone right now, Indie,” I tell her honestly.

She frowns, though doesn’t look angry, just confused and guarded.

“I love you,” I tell her, because I want to be honest with her in every aspect from now on. “I love you so much, I can barely breathe. I’ve never loved any woman like you, and I never will. But the way I’ve been loving you is wrong.”

Her mouth presses into a firm line, but her eyes shimmer once more.

“Because I wasn’t loving you the way you deserve,” I say, my voice cracking in half. “The way I showed you my love was worthless—no, more than that. It was damaging. I thought I was doing everything right because I was saying the pretty words, but not actually showing you. You got hurt and I… I failed you. So many times.”

The hard line of her mouth softens imperceptibly. I almost think I imagined it, but it gives me the strength to keep going.

“You deserve someone who you can trust to defend you. When you are in the room, and when you aren’t. I want to be someone you would be proud to stand next to—someone worthy of standing next to you. I wasn’t that man, Indie.”

Indie’s mouth trembles before she juts her chin out and sniffs, like she’s holding back the emotion desperately.

“But I will be,” I vow.

On Nana’s grave. On Pop’s grave. I swear, I will be the man that you deserve. I will be a man who is worthy of you. Just please.. hold on. Don’t fall in love with someone else. I have no right to ask, so I won’t, but please…