Page 70 of Ice Queen

So I moved, I teased. Then she freaking kissed me, and my world as I knew it got knocked clean off its axis. Then I remembered my dream, and I freaked out.

I ran away like a coward when all I wanted to do was haul her up on the counter, wrap her legs around my waist and find out if she had anything else under my sweatshirt. Damn it. I sit in my desk chair, letting my head fall back against it as I swivel mindlessly back and forth. This is not how I wanted to come home.

Hell, this is not how I imagined my first kiss with her. If I ever got the balls to do it in the first place. To my surprise, she made the first move. And shit, it was hot. The softness of her lips pressed against mine, the way her curves fit so perfectly against my jagged edges. The sounds she made… God, I want to drag her in here and see what other noises I can get her to make. But then, my defunct brain remembered my dream, and I freaked out.

I ran like a bloody coward. Another notch in the failure belt, but in the same breath, I know Millie would want me to move on. It’s me that's the problem. I can’t help but think that maybe it really was her in my dream. That she was freeing me from the chains of guilt I’ve been carrying all this time. But I still can’t figure out what the hell the stars have to do with anything.

Every day that passes, though, Kait weaves herself into my life without even knowing it. The smell of her strawberry shampoo, the way she’s completely clueless that my eyes find her in a room full of people every damn time. If she knew how much I wanted her to come to a game, to be in the stands in my jersey, cheering for me… Would she run? Would she talk herself out of it, or would she let me in? I’d like to think she would, all things considered.

Then there's the question of, if I’m given the chance, what would I do with it? Am I even good enough for her, or would I fail her like I failed them?

You didn’t fail anyone, Markus. The thought skates into my brain, circling inside my skull, trying to get me to believe it.

Maybe one day, but I’m not there yet. I’m starving, but going back out there means answering questions I don’t have answers to yet. So instead, I fall into bed, pulling the covers to my chin, and fall asleep.

“M-markus.” Millie’s teeth chatter as she tries to remain calm. “Prométeme que vivirás por los dos.⁠*”

She smiles and stands from the wreckage as she walks toward me. “Ya no necesito que me salves, Markus.” ⁠*

But then I blink, and she’s back where she was, but this time, it isn’t Millie, it’s Kait.

“Kaitlyn!” I yell, panic seeping into my bones. “No. No. No.” I can’t do this again. I can’t lose someone else.

I pull myself up, my leg searing in pain as I drag myself across the smoky wreckage. Glass and sharp metal dig into my knees and the palms of my hands. “Kait, stay with me.”

Her amber eyes stare back at me. “You said you wouldn’t let him hurt me.”

My eyes trail over her face, hands coming up to lightly brush the fallen pieces of hair behind her ear. “Who?”

“Wyatt, you promised.”

Her head lolls forward, and I feel helpless, unsure what to do. I grab her, knowing that she’ll probably bleed out on the way to get help. But when I look down again, Millie’s back.

“What?”

“Las estrellas, Markus. Sigue las estrellas.” ⁠*Millie slurs.

“Millie, ¿qué estrellas?”⁠* I shake her, desperate to find out what she's talking about, but I get nothing.

Then, like a horror film, their faces begin to flash. Millie’s, then Kait’s, back and forth until I’m screaming into the void.

“Markus!”

I hear it, but I can’t find it. Trapped in this nightmare with no way out.

“Markus, are you okay?!”

I clock the panic, but I can’t get out. Am I dead? Did I drink myself into an early grave? Oh, Dios! My mom’s going to kill me. I never gave her grandkids.

Something touches me, and I react, jumping out of bed and wrapping my arms around it to disarm whoever it is.

“Damn it, Markus,” the voice says, but it’s a thousand miles away.

Searing pain shoots through my bicep, and my arms drop to my side. I blink rapidly, trying to get my brain to wake up. Lifting my arm, I take in the angry, red bite mark on my bicep. What the hell?

My lips part as I look up, meeting the sheepish eyes of Kait. “Sorry, you were choking me.”

Oh, I’d like to choke you, alright.