Page 28 of Ice Queen

Then the light stops again. “What do you notice this time?

“That I couldn’t control the plane.” My throat tightens. “I couldn’t control the pilot’s heart attack.”

He nods once. “When you think about the memory now, how unsettling does it feel?”

“Four.”

He lets that sink in. “Let’s bring your statement back in. ‘I did everything I could.’ Hold the memory and that statement together.”

The light resumes, and I see my hand over hers. I hear myself telling her to keep it on.

The set ends. “What do you get, now?”

“I did try,” I whisper. And this time it feels less like a lie. “I didn’t break my promise.”

“And if you tried,” he asks quietly. “What does that say about you?”

I swallow. “That I’m not a failure.”

* Come here.

CHAPTER 10

Kaitlyn

No. One word was all he gave me. No could mean a thousand different things, and my brain volunteered to explore every one of them. No, you didn’t say anything wrong, but you talked too much. No, but your joke wasn’t funny.

I nodded, because that's the only thing I thought to do to not make it worse. I told myself to drop it, to let it go, to not be the person who needs clarification in order to breathe. But the word followed me all morning, looping through my head long after he walked away. If I didn’t say something wrong, then why does it feel like I did?

The bell above the door rings, and a head of bright red hair steps through. “Hi!” Hannah calls, her arms loaded with bags filled to the brim with what looks like craft supplies.

“Hi.” I rush over, already reaching for the bags before she can protest. “Let me help with that.”

“You’re a sweetheart,” she says, shaking out her arm once I get the bags off. “Sorry it took me so long to get over here. I went with the team for their away game over the weekend, and it’s been crazy since we got back.”

She takes a deep breath, pausing to look at me before looking around the store. “Wow, this is beautiful,” she says, slowly spinning in a circle. She follows me to the back, to the empty office space. I put her stuff down and start to say something when I realize she isn’t behind me anymore.

Stepping through the doorless entryway, I find her standing in the middle of the bean bag area. “Can we have book club here?” She says when she finally meets my gaze.

I can’t help but laugh. “Markus said the same thing.” I didn’t think anything of it, but by the smile that’s slowly growing across her face, I don’t know that mentioning him was the right thing to say.

“Sammy was in here?”

I nod slowly, second-guessing my honesty.

“When?”

“Umm, the day after Sports Romance Night. Said it was his turn to pick out a book.”

She squeals, and I immediately cringe at the sound. Is this what they mean when they classify women as ‘Woo girls?’

“He was here earlier.” I don’t know why that's what I say. But she stops, eyes wide as she looks directly at me. “I mean, not here. But he was with his dog, outside Beautiful Pour.”

“You met Maggie?! I love her.” Her hands fly through the air, her smile still in place. “I have a dog, too. Her name is Harley. We get together for weekly dog park dates.”

“Is he always so…” I trail off, trying to gauge her reaction. I know they’re all friends, so I don’t want to insult her. “I don’t know, he ran off when I jokingly called him Casanova.”

Her face softens. “He’s under a bit of unfair scrutiny from their new coach.” She cups one side of her mouth with the back of her hand and leans in towards me. “Between you and me, the dude's an asshole.”