Page 35 of Escape

“Go ahead. Taste the blood that flows only for you.”

Before I could talk myself out of it, I leaned down and licked the trail from her chin back up to the split cut on the outer corner of her mouth. I wanted to latch on and fill myself with her, but I pulled back.

Confused at the desire pooling deep inside me, I replaced the gun to Kel’s forehead.

She leaned her head back, trailing the barrel over her cheek. She opened her mouth, looked up to meet my gaze and wrapped her lips around it. The scariest part was that she looked at peace. Like she had dreamed of dying at my hand.

I envied the feeling. Why couldn't I have had the strength to blow my brains out every single time I wanted to? Why had I been such a coward to let my life end up so shitty and empty?

A frustrated huff blew past my lips. Kel groaned, sucking the gun deeper into her mouth. Curiosity piqued, I followed her lead, slowly pumping the weapon into her willing mouth. Her eyes never left mine as she took it all. A mix of drool and blood dripped from her lips and down her cheeks, pooling on the tile below.

“You should fucking hate me, Kel. I hurt you. I was selfish. I knew all the things you went through in your past and I still left you like you were nothing.”

I put power behind my words, pushing them through clenched teeth and sobs. Pumping harder as I reiterated what a coward I was for leaving her.

“Why would you come back for me? I never came back for you.”

I didn’t know why I was being so harsh. Didn’t know why I was pushing her away. She was here, devoting herself to me and I knew I wanted it. But I didn’t deserve it. Her devotion. Her love. Her second chance. She should kill me, too, and we both knew it.

She couldn’t answer as I invaded her, so she shook her head frantically with her eyes wide.

I forced it deeper down her throat, pumping harder. Not accepting anything other than what I was saying and how I felt.

But that’s how we got here in the first place, wasn’t it? My fucking selfishness.

Kel’s eyes rolled back as she grunted and gagged along with every rage-filled thrust, her tongue poking out and lying flat over her chin to make more room.

She was enjoying this. Fuck, I was enjoying this.

I hadn’t noticed how I was grinding my aching clit across the hard plains of her abdomen, chasing my sick relief. It both confused and enraged me, but it made what I needed to do…what my body craved, very clear.

I abruptly paused, the gun resting at the back of Kel's throat when the answer revealed itself to me. Confusion was the gateway to my decisions. To my need to please everyone else. To my anger. The blazing fucking anger I felt at Kel. It was all her.

She confused me to the point where I cracked my shell and let her inside. I let her fill me with hope and love, just for it to be snatched away in seconds. My life would’ve continued on, miserable but ordinary if she had never fucking talked to me in algebra. If she just would’ve left me the fuck alone.

With a scream ripping through my chest, I pulled the trigger. The gun made a pathetic clicking sound as Kel held eye contact and never flinched. She smiled around the barrel lodged between her teeth.

I knew there were no bullets in the chamber and she must have known as well. But just the act shifted something in me. It closed some sort of wound that had been gaping and oozing for years. It killed the Kel in my mind that I had mistakenly been angry at for ten years.

I might not have deserved her in the past, but she wanted me now. She never stopped wanting me. If I was being honest, I never stopped wanting her either. Maybe choosing her was me being strong and courageous. Maybe it wasn’t just me thinking of myself, but her, too.

I pulled the gun from Kel’s mouth and threw it carelessly across the floor. I ran my finger over the cold, metal surface of the clip on the leash, pulling down the latch. As I clipped it to the collar, the decision solidified in my chest. I silently promised that I would do everything in my power to deserve her now and every day we had ahead of us.

I pushed to my feet and pulled Kel along with me, leaving her on her knees. I tugged the leash lightly towards me and with an audible, desperate sigh, Kel melted into me like a weight she’d been carrying her whole life was finally lifted from her shoulders and in that moment, I felt it too. Like the burden I’d carried my entire life floated away and disappeared into the sky.

With her hands still cuffed behind her back, Kel leaned into me, rubbing her face into the soft curve of my belly.

“Yours,” she groaned, her voice husky from the rough mouth-fucking I’d given her. “Always yours, babydoll.”

I clutched onto the back of her head, pulling her into me as tears continued to stream down my cheeks.

“I forgive you,” She mumbled. “I forgave you so long ago.”

As she grumbled the devotion into my skin, I clutched the leash a bit tighter, unable to stop the low whimper that escaped my lips. Without the weight of the past on my back, the little spark of desire that had ignited inside me was growing into a raging fire and now, I had no intention of putting it out.

Chapter 28

Kel