Page 76 of The Sixth Fraction

I cut myself off, too angry to continue.

“Sometimes, if you lack the context for an act, you can’t see it the way it’s understood by those who do have the context,” my mother says. “But I don’t agree with many of Abnegation’s standard disciplinary policies, Beatrice.” She looks down. “I recently imposed the Penalty of Silence on you, I know. I’m sorry about that. I did it because I urgently needed you to stop talking, and I couldn’t think of another way—it was for your protection. I wish I could explain better. There are still things you don’t know.”

I say, “Why can’t you tell me, then?”

She looks away, at the slant of sunlight on the warehouse wall. “Knowing too much is dangerous for anyone—”

“Yesterday a sentry held a gun to my head,” I say. “I’m already in danger.”

“There are different degrees of danger.” Her mouth is in a firm line.

“But—”

She cuts me off. “I will think about it. But we don’t have much more time. Your father told me he needs to go to confession tomorrow—our little joke for when he has to go to Candor headquarters. So I assume he’ll be present at this hearing. What do you need from me?”

For a moment I just stare at her. I’m not used to her addressing me like that. What do you need from me? Like I’m Evelyn and I’m asking her for a favor she expects me to one day return.

“The child they took, her mother is cruel to her,” I say. “Her brother was trying to keep her safe. And the mother is Divergent, so the truth serum won’t work on her.”

She nods, looking grave.

“I’ll tell your father to talk to Jack Kang after the hearing, during deliberations,” she says. “He’ll have to pick up Marcus afterward, anyway. Jack is no doubt aware of certain irregularities with the truth serum, even if the rest of his faction isn’t.”

Relief washes over me, so powerful and so sudden that I throw my arms around her.

“Thank you,” I say.

I make my way toward the door and then turn back at the last second.

“Mom?” I say. “What if . . . what if I thought the factionless were right about some things?”

She gives me a quizzical look.

“It’s just . . . the more I see, the more I realize the world is different than I thought it was,” I say.

“The factionless are right about some things,” she says. “That’s how it always is.”

She sounds older and darker than I’m used to. Like a woman who’s a lot more than my mother. Maybe that’s why I say, “You could tell me things, you know. I can handle more than you think.”

She smiles a little. “I’m starting to see that.”

Then she reaches up and undoes the first two buttons of her shirt and tugs the collar aside to reveal a tattoo just beneath her collarbone. From the outside in, it reads.

“I’ll tell you what it means someday soon,” she says. “Now hurry. You’ll miss your train.”

I don’t know why I can’t know now. But I can’t hold her up any longer. So I offer her a small wave and walk out of the donation center.

I count the cars as I run. One, two, three, four. I grab the handle, and it stings the still-forming calluses on my palms, but I ignore the pain. I keep my feet under me, and Evelyn, waiting for me across the car, gives an approving nod.

“You’ve come a long way,” she says. “Let me show you something.”

She beckons me closer and then thumps her fist against a metal panel at the front of the car. I can tell by the indentation there that she’s not the first person to do this. The panel pulls away from the wall, revealing a small cavity behind it with a bag inside it.

“Foxes leave these on every train,” she says. “They have basic first aid, some clothes from every faction, in case you need to pass as one or another, water, and a knife. They could come in handy, if you succeed in becoming one of them.”

I raise my eyebrows.

“People talk,” she says, by way of explanation. “They talk to each other, and then they talk to me. The Mender in particular thinks you have potential—says you have a good face for it.” She takes off her green jacket and stuffs it in the bag. Her arms—bare now—are ropy with muscle. She takes out a black shirt with strong shoulders and pulls it on over her tank top.