Page 47 of A Countess Never Tells

He helped Kitty into the Haxby estate carriage, a huge equipage that could indeed have accommodated Ash without arousing Haxby’s suspicions or Ash’s own libido, but he still thought it best they travel separately. He shut the door and headed to his own conveyance, glad of the opportunity to relax his guard.

As Ash settled down into the soft blue leather seats, he drew a long breath and let it out. The next six months…God, six months of celibacy. He glared straight ahead, seeing Kitty’s face again as she asked, “What’s your first name? Your Christian name.” He should have lied and said it was Percival or Dinadin. But no, he’d had to speak the wretched name out loud, and his life had not been the same since. And now here he was in the same boat as Sir Galahad, forced to endure the pangs of lust with no relief in sight. Although he doubted the sanctimonious knight had ever lusted after anyone. Never having known that insatiable craving, Galahad didn’t know what he was missing out on. But Ash knew all too bloody well.

When Haxby had made the demand that he give up his philandering and eschew all women other than Kitty, he’d not thought the challenge a worthy one. Ever since meeting Kitty, he’d found himself less and less attracted to other women, thinking and fantasizing about only her in his bed. As he’d told Haxby more than once, he truly intended to forsake his rake’s life when he married.

He’d expected, though, to have his wife—meaning Kitty—in his bed every night and most of the days in order to satisfy all his passions. What Haxby now proposed would take that piece of the agreement out of play, leaving Ash’s pent-up juices to stew, so to speak, for six long months.

What he was once certain he could accomplish handily, now became questionable. Did Haxby truly expect him to act like a monk—like Galahad, for God’s sake—for six whole months? Apparently so.

In the dark recesses of the carriage, he could conjure up the feeling of Kitty beneath him as she’d been just hours ago, warm and oh so eager to receive him. His member stirred and knowing he’d not receive any real satisfaction this night—or any other night for the foreseeable future—he tried his damndest to turn his thoughts to another area—any other area—but it was like trying to hold back flood waters. He could not unsee her luscious body lying naked on the bed, all pink and soft, her nipples pert points begging for his mouth.

The groan that escaped his lips was low, guttural, and drowning in need. If he had it to do over again, he would throw out all ideas of appeasing her brother and settle himself between her silky thighs, riding her to what he believed would be the most intense pleasure of his life. The image made his need more acute. A need that could not be satisfied for what would seem an eternity. Six interminable months of this torture, imagining Kitty—imagining being inside Kitty, bringing her to the ultimate pleasure, then taking his own until they were both so sated they might melt into the bed and rise no more.

At the brink of spilling himself, Ash dropped the window and breathed in huge lungfuls of the tepid night air, wishing it were freezing cold, willing his flesh to calm. They were almost at Lady Northrop’s, and he could not embarrass himself by having to drive on, back to his townhouse, to repair stained clothing.

He must find another outlet for his pent-up passions. More fencing lessons at Angelo’s or boxing at Broughton’s. If he could exhaust himself to the point of oblivion, expending his physical frustrations on sport rather than the company of ladies, perhaps he could see a way through this madness.

Or, his insidious dark side spoke up, you could make a discreet visit to the House of Pleasure or Mrs. Bontemps Palace of Venus. Haxby would likely never discover one or two indiscretions. And you would be so much more relaxed.

Ash sat bolt upright in the carriage. No, damnit. He shook his head vehemently, dispelling the despicable thoughts. Even if Haxby never found out he’d paid for a whore and broken their agreement, he would know. And in the end, it was a risk he wasn’t willing to take. Not if it meant losing Kitty in the process.

Just when he’d decided losing her would be the greatest catastrophe of his life, he didn’t know. It sufficed that he had. And that decision would keep him on the straight and narrow, no matter how uncomfortable his member became. It would eventually find the home it sought and that would have to be enough for him. For now.

Chapter 21

The blast of heat as they entered Lady Northrop’s townhouse was tantamount to being plunged into one of the fiery furnaces of hell. The heat, in addition to his already aroused state, aggravated by the vise-like grip Kitty had on his arm made normal walking a torment. All he lacked now was a whiff of sulfur.

“Oh, are they making up a set now?” Kitty surged eagerly toward the ballroom, scarcely visible at the far end of the house. Her azure blue eyes sparkled with excitement, whether because of the promise of a dance or the fact she was publicly arriving on his arm he wouldn’t have laid a wager on. Kitty was very fond of dancing.

“I believe they must be, my dear. Would you care to dance it with me?”

“I would indeed, my lord.” Her whole body had come alive in a way that was a joy to see. How much more alive might she look—might she feel—in the throes of passion?

Devil take it, he must stop these lurid thoughts that did nothing save aggravate his need, else he’d find himself outside in the bushes relieving himself—alone.

They proceeded to the ballroom, Lord and Lady Haxby close on their heels. There would be no opportunity for him and Kitty to slip away and indulge themselves tonight. Ash sighed and took his position across from Kitty, attempting to make the sight of her lovely form satisfy him as sufficiently as the feel of her would. A fool’s errand at best.

He managed to make it through the dance by sheer dint of will and the streak of stubbornness he’d inherited from his mother’s Scottish side. No one was ever as stubborn as a Grant when they put their mind to something, so Ash danced with a smile on his lips, a spring in his step, and an ache in his groin. By the end of the dance, however, he was convinced he must hurry outside and relieve things if he was to be able to endure the remainder of the evening without embarrassment. There was only so much proximity to Kitty he could take without some form of relief.

He bowed to her and was about to lead her back to her brother, when Lord Fenton appeared as if conjured.

“Miss Tate, Lord Ashwood, good evening.” The gentleman bowed respectfully, although he could scarcely bend his head, so towering was his white powdered wig. “I did not see you arrive else I would have secured a dance with you before now, Miss Tate.”

“Please, my lord, do partner Miss Tate for this next if she is agreeable. I’d hate to leave her without a partner when I know she dotes on dancing.” He turned to Kitty, unable to disguise the desire on his face. “Just be sure to save all the rest for me, my love. I will jealously guard every other one.” He bowed then turned on his heel and hastened off, but not before witnessing the shocked look on Fenton’s face. To claim all of Kitty’s other dances as good as announced their betrothal. Ash grinned all the way to the door leading outside to the garden.

Stealthily, he slipped behind a bush next to the garden wall, unbuttoned his fall, summoned one more memory of Kitty lying naked beneath him, her beautiful face gazing up at him, her breasts firm and round in his hands, and let nature take its inevitable course. After a prolonged shudder, he leaned against the warm stone wall, well and truly spent. Not completely satisfied, nor would he be now until his wedding night, but it would serve for the moment.

Breathing more normally, Ash repaired his clothing and returned to the house, determined to keep himself in better check from now on. He must begin his new sporting regimen tomorrow to take the edge off his desires. Passing a footman with a tray of wine glasses, Ash snagged one and gulped it down. The garden had been so much cooler forcing himself to enter the over-heated ballroom took almost as much courage as facing a firing squad.

Ash grabbed another glass then strolled behind a series of potted palms set out as decorations. He rather hoped they would shield him somewhat from the blast furnace of the rest of the room. Sipping the champagne, Ash tried to focus his thoughts on what he and Kitty could do for the next six months that would not drive him mad with wanting her. The normal things that courting couples did, like attend entertainments, or visit Vauxhall, or the theatre were all well and good, however there was only so much to do in London. After the Season, he supposed they could repair to one of the Scottish estates for the shooting, with Lord and Lady Haxby in attendance, of course. Perhaps that might be a way to get on her brother’s good side. If the man enjoyed shooting. He must ask Kitty about that.

The rustle of the palm trees followed by the low murmuring of two voices on the other side of the foliage alerted him that his retreat was being commandeered by others. High time he went back to Kitty anyway. As soon as they danced three times together, the gossips would be sending out full-fledged reports that Kitty Tate had accepted him. Ash grinned. He suspected there was a wager somewhere out there on whether or not he’d find a lady whose guardian would allow her to marry him. Now that one could be settled.

“What will Lord Haxby say?”

The words, whispered in a man’s voice he didn’t recognize, brought Ash up short. Who was interested in Haxby’s response? Even more important, to what subject were they referring? Carefully, Ash set his glass down then stood perfectly still, straining to hear the other person speak again, hoping to recognize the voice this time.

“Lord Haxby will keep his mouth shut if he doesn’t want his sister’s reputation ruined in a spectacular way.” Ash froze. The sickening voice was all too familiar to him. “Anyway, he likely doesn’t know yet. I doubt Miss Tate has informed him of the indiscretion.”