Page 49 of An Oath at Midnight

He stared at me for long seconds, a look in his eyes that made my belly feel weird, warm. “Yeah,” he finally said.

My mind raced. I really wasn’t expecting him to say yes. “About the new ink, or everything?”

His gaze dipped to my mouth, then back, and he licked his lips. It was unconscious, I was sure, but something about it, about the look in his eyes made the warmth in my belly swirl. “Everything.”

My pulse sped up as I stared down at him. Goddess, that tension was back, and it was growing thicker by the second. My gaze went to his perfect lips all on their own, and the swirls intensified. This was Bram, my best friend, my belly shouldn’t be swirling. But it was, and it wasn’t the first time. It also wasn’t the first time I’d thought about his lips, or how they’d feel against mine—what he’d taste like.

Other things...

I shoved those thoughts back down as deep as I could. I’d never risk ruining what we had by going there. I’d never risk losing my best friend because I wanted to appease my curiosity. And even if in some alternate reality he’d want me that way as well, it was pointless because I was broken. The idea of being intimate with anyone, even Bram, sent actual terror through me.

I cleared my throat. “But you can’t tell me what those circumstances are?”

His gaze didn’t leave mine. “No.”

The finality of it wasn’t just in the word itself, but his tone. And right then he was impossible to read. “How do you feel about that?” I asked.

“How I feel is irrelevant. The situation is what it is,” he said, purposely keeping his expression blank.

Frustration filled me. Fine, anger. “That’s a fucking cop-out. I’m starting to get the feeling you’re glad you can’t tell me your secrets, and that even if you could, you wouldn’t want to.”

He said nothing.

“How do you feel about it, Bram?” I asked again.

His gaze slid from mine to the window, out to the late-afternoon sky. He was quiet so long I didn’t think he was going to answer my question. But then he looked at me again, and the weight in his gaze had me freezing in place.

“It’s not an easy question to answer for a lot reasons,” he said. “But you’re right, there are things…things I’m glad you don’t know.” He licked his lips again and released a ragged breath. “But if it were possible, if things were…different. If there were certain guarantees, I would want you to know. I’d want you to know all of it.”

Certain guarantees? What did that even mean? But there was no point asking because he couldn’t tell me, and now I felt even more frustrated than before. I tore my gaze from his and turned back to my laptop. His gaze stayed on me. I felt it. He was waiting for me to say more, but there was nothing else to be said.

Not sure what else to do, I typed all four of the victims’ names into the search bar and hit enter. Links to social media popped up, a website for one of Calvin’s businesses. An article here and there. I clicked to the next page of results and saw a hit for Roxburgh High School. I clicked on it and scanned an article from the school paper. It was from twelve years ago, naming the prom committee, and three of the victims were named in the article. Calvin Adler and his cousin Katana and the first victim, Clara Hope. “I might’ve found something.” The other members were Chase Golden, Jenna Barlow, and Robert Hazark. Robert was now married to Jenna—and he was also Margot’s stepbrother.

Bram got up and read the article over my shoulder. “Can you find anything else?”

I tried, but nothing more came up. “Do you think we’d have better luck at the school?”

“Only one way to find out. We’ll go when it gets dark.”

“Nothing like a little breaking and entering to top off the day,” I said and yawned.

Bram took my hand. “First, you need sleep.”

I protested but then gave up and let him tug me from my chair and lead me to the bed. “I have too much to do.”

“You won’t be any use if you’re exhausted,” he said, then pulled me down onto the bed with him.

He tucked me in close. “Sleep. I’ll wake you when it’s time to go.”

He was right. I needed sleep or I’d be a liability if something went wrong tonight. “Promise you’ll wake me?”

His hand slid up and down my back. “Promise.”

* * *

Bram

Mags threw her leg over my hip, her hand sliding low on my stomach.