Page 39 of Merciless King

No, I had no right to be pissed, but yeah, I wanted to maim the fucker. Tear his motherfucking face off for touching her.

“Let me know if you manage to enhance that picture,” I said to Neco, keeping my voice as even as I could, and motioned for a red-faced London to head for the exit. She rushed out the door ahead of me, and we made our way down to my car in the parking garage.

When she climbed in the passenger seat and I shut her in, I took a moment to get my head on straight. It didn’t work. I didn’t want Connor anywhere near London, I knew that much. I didn’t want him touching her and I sure as fuck didn’t want him kissing her.

An image of her, lips parted, flushed, riding my fingers, crying out as she came for me invaded my head, like it had the last couple of days, and I had to grit my teeth against the growl of frustration crawling up my throat. The urge to hunt Daniels down and beat the fuck out of him for putting his filthy hands on her was almost too strong to fight. I wasn’t sure I wanted to fight it.

Somehow I managed it, and instead of hunting Connor down and ending him, I climbed into the car and headed for my apartment. “You can stay with me,” I said with a bit more force than was warranted, because I knew what my problem was, what I was feeling, and I didn’t fucking like it, not one damn bit.

I was jealous.

Not something I’d ever experienced before. “We’ll get your things tomorrow.” I didn’t want to risk taking her to her place, not without backup, not without knowing who was involved in this.

“Okay,” she said quietly.

The rest of the drive was silent, and I used the time to regain my control.

After we’d parked and I’d led her into the elevator, she turned to me. “If you’d rather I didn’t stay here—”

“I want you here,” I said, voice like I was gargling nails.

“You’re upset with me,” she said.

Yeah, I wasn’t surprised she’d picked up on my mood. I was usually pretty good at hiding what I was thinking or feeling, but not as much when I was around London, apparently. I felt like an asshole.

I turned to her, shaking my head. “Not pissed at you. I’m pissed at myself.”

She frowned. “What? Why?”

The elevator slid open and I led her down the hall to my place, opening the door and letting us in.

I dumped my keys on the table in the hall and she followed me into the living room.

“Has this got something to do with Connor?” she said.

I turned to her. “You two on a first-name basis these days, London?”

Jesus, I needed to rein it in.

She colored and I felt like an even bigger asshole. “There’s nothing going on between Connor and me.”

I ran my fingers though my hair. “He kissed you, babe. I saw that shit with my own eyes.” She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off. No way did I want to hear the details of their budding romance. “If you’d rather stay with him…”

Her chin jerked back. “We’re not…I don’t…” She stood straighter, hands fisting at her sides. “You said you didn’t want anything more with me than that one night. Connor asked me to lunch and I…I wanted something to…” She glanced out the window. “To look forward to, I guess. I’ve spent a long time wanting things I can’t have, Van. I’ve wasted a lot of time. He’s a nice man and I wanted to…want him. I really did.” Her gaze came back to me. “I let him kiss me because I wanted to feel something, something close to what I felt when you kissed me. After everything that’s been happening, I just wanted to feel alive.”

“London—”

“But there was nothing there. We both knew it.” She hugged herself. “You probably don’t care, but I wanted you to know that.”

“I care,” I said, surprised by my own words, but with the way relief was pumping through me I knew it was the truth. I cared all right, too fucking much. “But goddammit, that changes nothing. I’m still not the man you need.”

Her eyes flashed and my cock surged, pumping full of blood so hard and fast I felt fucking light-headed.

“You’re assuming you know what I need, what I want. Yes, I’m shy and struggle with certain situations, but I’m not stupid and I’m not some romantic fool. Have I asked you for more? Have I given you any indication that a relationship is what I want from you?”

She was right, of course. “I don’t want to hurt you,” I said, telling her the truth and my biggest fear.

Her eyes stayed locked on mine. “I’ve been stabbed five times and survived. You think I can’t survive you?” She shook her head. “I don’t want to think about the future. I just want to live, now, this moment. I want to take whatever good comes my way, however long it lasts, and embrace it. And when it’s over, move on, open and ready to accept whatever good thing comes my way next. That’s it. That’s what I want. That’s all I want.”